Ukuba nomuntu ohlangene kusikisela ukuthi uphendula ngokushesha nangendlela efanele lapho siphonselwa inselelo, noma ngisho nokufakwa ebunzimeni yisiphrofetho esibhalwe kithi. Akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngakho-ke, kubhala uDan Bennet, i-repartee ivame kakhulu "Yini efika emqondweni wethu uma isidlulile isihambile"… Sekwephuzile-ke! Ukuba nomuntu ohlangene kudinga izimfanelo ezimbalwa, futhi kungasetshenzwa phezu kwazo: ukukwazi ukulalela ngenkuthalo, ukuhlakulela, ukuzethemba kodwa futhi nokuhlekisa ... Lezi zonke izinto ezizokusiza, kancane kancane, ukwazi ukuphindaphinda kuzo zonke izimo. !

Njengabanye abantu, ingabe ngezinye izikhathi ucabanga ngezinto ezinembe kakhulu obungazisho futhi okufanele ngabe uzisho, kaningi lapho usanda kushiya umkhulumeli wakho? Kuyiqiniso ukuthi untula omunye umuntu: awukwazi futhi ukwazi ukuthi ungaphendula kanjani okwamanje, kodwa ngemva kweqiniso ... Akukhona ukuthi ingqondo yakho ayisebenzi ... Kodwa unakho “Umoya wezitebhisi”.

Leli gama ngabe ladalwa isazi sefilosofi ye-Enlightenment uDenis Diderot, cishe iminyaka engu-1773 kuya ku-1778 ... Indida ngomlingisi : "Indoda ebucayi njengawe, ngokuphelele kulokho okuphikiswayo kuye, ilahlekelwa ikhanda futhi itholakala kuphela ngaphansi kwezitebhisi"… UDiderot wayesho ukuthi, phakathi nengxoxo, uma kukhona okwakuphikiswe kuye, walahlekelwa amandla akhe… Kwaba kanye nje ephuma, wafika ezansi ezitebhisini (ngakho-ke kwase kwephuze kakhulu) lapho impendulo ayithola khona. kwakufanele anikeze!

Evusa isenzo sobuhlakani ikakhulukazi sokuphinda, umbhali u-Théophile Gautier wabhala: “Futhi akekho owayenempendulo ejabulisayo nesheshayo, amazwi amnandi azenzakalela”. Kodwa ukuze ube ne-repartee, vele kudingekile ukuthi uqale ngokwazi ukuthi ulalela kanjani ... Futhi ukufaneleka kwekhwalithi yokuzijwayeza ukulalela kwachazwa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseMelika u-Carl Rogers, ngaphansi kwegama elithi “ukulalela okusebenzayo", Ebonakala ngokubonisa ukuhloniphana nokwethembana kumkhulumeli. Kudinga, ikakhulukazi, ukugxila kokunye, futhi ngenxa yalokho "Ukuzizwa nomunye", okubaluleke kakhulu kunokwabelana ngombono. Kudinga nozwela, okungukuthi "Amandla okubhalisa emhlabeni ozimele wabanye ukuze uwuqonde ngaphakathi".

Ukulalela kahle amazwi ashiwo omunye, ngokuvumelana nabo kanye namazwi abo, ngakho-ke uzokwazi, okungcono kakhulu, ukuphendula ngendlela efanele. Esinye isihluthulelo: uma ufunda kakhulu, uzoba nolwazi lwakamuva ngezindaba, uzokwazi ukuphendula ngokunembe kakhudlwana. Funda, amaphephandaba kanye nezincwadi, lalela izinkulumo-mpikiswano kumabonakude noma emsakazweni, uze ucabange imigqa ongayenza esikhundleni sabadlali bamahlaya noma osopolitiki okukhulunywe nabo: uyobe usuzuza masinyane ngokuphindaphindiwe. 

Ukungabi neqembu eliphindelelayo kuvame ukukhombisa ukuntula ukuzethemba. Nokho, njengoba uKenny Sureau, umbhali, umqeqeshi kanye nomhlahlandlela womuntu siqu, ebonisa, “Ukuntula ukuzethemba akungokwemvelo, kubangelwa ukuhlukumezeka okuthile”, njengokugconwa ngesikhathi sokuphila, ukukhubazeka ngokomzimba noma umuzwa wokubukelwa phansi. Sizobe sesizithola sesivimbekile uma kuziwa ekuphenduleni, ekuphenduleni umdlalo, ngamafuphi, ukuthi sibe ne-repartee.

Ethanda kakhulu ulwazi, kanye nelukuluku elinganeliseki, izimfanelo ezimbili ezisivumela ukuthi sibe nezimpendulo ezimweni eziningi, uKenny Sureau naye ukholelwa ukuthi “Akekho umuntu ozalwa engenakho ukuzethemba”, ini “Kuwumuzwa ozinza ngokuhamba kwesikhathi”… Ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi lapho ukuncintisana okuqhubekayo kusebenza emphakathini. Ukuze uthole ukuzethemba, kungase kube ngokwanele ukuba ujabule njengoba unjalo futhi wazi lapho uya khona. 

Wonke umuntu uyazi ukwehluleka. Kodwa abantu abazethembayo bazoqala ngokuphindaphindiwe, futhi ekugcineni bazophumelela… Phikelela! Ngakho-ke, lapho usuthole ukuzethemba kuwe, uqondaniswe kahle nawe kanye namagugu akho, uzozuza ngokuhlanganyela, futhi lokhu kuzocishe kube ngokwemvelo kuwe ... Ngaphezu kwalokho, okubaluleke kakhulu ngeke kube yilokho okushoyo, kodwa indlela ozoyiletha ngayo. Futhi, ngalo mqondo, ngisho ukuthula kungaba a "I-repartee ebhubhisayo", ukholelwa ukuthi i-blogger egxile ekuthuthukisweni komuntu siqu, ikakhulukazi uma lokhu kuthula “Kubonisa isifiso sokungawuphenduli umbuzohhayi”.

“Ngezinye izikhathi ingqondo isisiza ukuba senze izinto eziwubuwula ngesibindi”, kulinganiselwa ukuthi uFrançois de La Rochefoucauld. Ngakho-ke, enye yezindlela eziphumelela kakhulu ngokuya nge-repartee ukuphendula ngokuhlekisa, ngisho nokuhlekisa. Ingabe ugxekwa ngokuba namahloni? Phendula isibonelo, “Cha, ngikhohlwe nje ukukhumula imaski yami enamahloni”. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungalokothi ulungiselele imigqa yakho kusenesikhathi, zenzekela futhi ngokwemvelo. Kuyasebenza! Kungani ungahleli imidlalo yamazwi nabangane?

Ngoba impendulo ehlekisayo neyindida idinga ukuhlaziya okuhle, futhi ngesikhathi esirekhodiwe, salokho okushiwo umbangi, kuyilapho eqinisekisa ukuthi uvumela ubuhlakani bakhe ukuba buziveze. Ukuzigcona ikakhulukazi kungaba isibonelo esihle sokubethela uqhwaku kophikisana nawe! Ithiyetha nayo ingaba, ngenxa yalokhu, indlela enhle yokuphendula kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lwemibuzo, ingxabano, inkulumo enobutha ...

Futhi ngempela, kungani, uma ikakhulukazi uthambekele ekusweleni okungapheli, ungabhalisi ku-workshop yetiyetha yokuthuthukisa? Ngakho-ke, cabanga ngemigqa, ehlekisayo noma ekhuluma nje ngendaba, zuza emoyeni… Uma unothile emoyeni, ocwengiwe futhi onengqondo uyoba ngumholi wakho, lapho ophikisana nawe uyomangala kakhulu! Ngoba, njengoba umlobi uLéopold Sédor Senghor agomela ngokufanelekile, “Ngaphandle kokuthuthuka komoya asilutho. Futhi lesi sifiso, esiphakamisa umuntu ngaphezu komuntu, yisona kuphela esihlonipha isintu ”.