Intellectual intelligence, ebonakala nge-intelligence quotient (IQ), ayisabonwa njengento eyinhloko empumelelweni yomuntu. Ubuhlakani bomzwelo, obaduma eminyakeni embalwa edlule isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseMelika uDaniel Goleman, bekungaba okubaluleke kakhulu. Kodwa sisho ukuthini ngokuthi “ukuhlakanipha okungokomzwelo”? Kungani inethonya elikhulu kune-IQ empilweni yethu? Indlela yokuyithuthukisa? Izimpendulo.

Umqondo wobuhlakani bomzwelo waqala ukubekwa phambili ngo-1990 yizazi zokusebenza kwengqondo uPeter Salovey noJohn Mayer. Kodwa kwakuyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseMelika uDaniel Goleman owasenza saduma ngo-1995 ngomthengisi wakhe omkhulu othi "Emotional Intelligence". Kubonakala ngekhono lokuqonda nokulawula imizwa yakhe, kodwa futhi neyabanye. KuDaniel Goleman, ukuhlakanipha kwemizwa kuvezwa ngamakhono amahlanu:

• Ukuzazi : baqaphele imizwa yabo futhi basebenzise imizwelo yabo engokwemvelo ngangokunokwenzeka ekwenzeni izinqumo. Kulokhu, kubalulekile ukuzazi futhi uzethembe.
• ukuzithiba : yazi ukuthi ungayilawula kanjani imizwa yakho ukuze ingagxambukeli ngendlela engeyinhle empilweni yethu ngokusixaka.
• ukugqugquzela : ungalokothi ulahlekelwe umbono wezifiso zakho kanye nezifiso zakho zokuhlala unemigomo, ngisho nalapho kwenzeka ukudumazeka, izenzakalo ezingalindelekile, izithiyo noma ukukhungatheka.
• uzwela : ukwazi ukwamukela nokuqonda imizwa yabanye, ukwazi ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomunye.
• amakhono abantu kanye nekhono lokuxhumana nabanye. Hlanganyela nabanye ngaphandle kobudlova futhi usebenzise amakhono omuntu ukuze udlulise imibono ngokushelela, ukuxazulula izimo zokungqubuzana kanye nokubambisana.

Uma sizazi (kakhulu noma ngaphansi kahle) lezi zici ezinhlanu, sibonisa ubuhlakani bomuntu nobomphakathi.  

“Akekho ongasho namuhla ukuthi ukuhlakanipha okungokomzwelo kuyichaza ngezinga elingakanani inkambo yokuphila eshintshashintshayo phakathi kwabantu. Kodwa idatha etholakalayo iphakamisa ukuthi ithonya layo lingabaluleka noma libe likhulu kunalelo le-IQ”, Kuchaza uDaniel Goleman encwadini yakhe ethi Emotional Intelligence, Integral. Ngokusho kwakhe, i-IQ izoba nesibopho sokuphumelela komuntu ngamunye, kuze kufike ku-20%. Ingabe okunye kufanele kuthiwe kungenxa yokuhlakanipha okungokomzwelo? Kunzima ukusho ngoba, ngokungafani ne-IQ, ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo kuwumqondo omusha lapho-ke sinombono omncane kuwo. Nokho, kuye kwafakazelwa ukuthi abantu abakwaziyo ukulawula imizwa yabo kanye neyabanye, futhi bayisebenzise ngokuhlakanipha, banenzuzo ekuphileni, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bane-IQ ephakeme noma cha. Lokhu kuhlakanipha kwemizwa kudlala indima ebalulekile kuyo yonke imikhakha yempilo: umsebenzi, umbhangqwana, umndeni ... Uma kungathuthukisiwe, kungalimaza ngisho nokuhlakanipha kwethu. “Abantu abangakwazi ukulawula ukuphila kwabo okungokomzwelo baba nezingxabano zangaphakathi ezilimaza ikhono labo lokugxilisa ingqondo nokucabanga ngokucacile”, kusho uDaniel Goleman. Elinye iphuzu elibalulekile ukuthi ubuhlakani bomzwelo buguquka kukho konke ukuphila. Lokhu akunjalo nge-IQ, ezinza phakathi neminyaka engama-20. Ngempela, uma amanye amakhono angokomzwelo ezalwa, amanye afundwa ngokuhlangenwe nakho. Ungathuthukisa ubuhlakani bakho bemizwa, uma ufuna. Lokhu kuhilela isifiso sokuzazi kangcono nokwazi abantu abasizungezile kangcono. 

Ukukhombisa ubuhlakani bemizwa kudinga ukuqeqeshwa. Ukushintsha ukuziphatha kwakho ngeke kwenzeke ngokuphazima kweso. Sonke sinamakhono angokomzwelo, kodwa angaphazanyiswa imikhuba emibi. Lezi kufanele ziyekwe ukuze zithathelwe indawo yimicabango emisha enikeza ukuziqhenya ngendawo yokuhlakanipha kwemizwa. Ngokwesibonelo, ukucasuka, okubangela ukulunywa nokuthukuthela, kuyisithiyo sokulalela abanye, ikhono elingokomzwelo elibaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni. Kodwa-ke, kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuba umuntu abambe ikhono elingokomzwelo? “Kuncike ezintweni eziningi. Lapho amakhono ayinkimbinkimbi, kuthatha isikhathi eside ukuthola lobu buciko ”, uyaqaphela uDaniel Goleman. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi usebenze ngamakhono akho emizwa, kungakhathaliseki isimo ozithola ukuso: emsebenzini, nomndeni wakho, nophathina wakho, nabangane ... Lapho, mathupha, ubona izinzuzo zobuhlakani bemizwa indawo yomuntu yobungcweti, umuntu angafuna kuphela ukukusebenzisa kuyo yonke imikhakha yempilo yakhe. Noma yibuphi ubuhlobo yithuba lokusebenzisa amakhono akho angokomzwelo futhi uwathuthukise ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ukuzizungeza nabantu abanobuhlakani obuqinile bemizwa nakho kuyindlela enhle yokuhamba ngale ndlela. Sifunda kwabanye. Uma sisebenzelana nomuntu ongahlakaniphile ngokombono ongokomzwelo, kunokuba adlale emdlalweni wakhe, kungcono ukumenza aqonde ukuthi yini engazuza ngokuba nozwela nokulawula. yemizwa yakhe. Ukuhlakanipha okungokomzwelo kuletha izinzuzo eziningi.

I-Emotional intelligence ivumela:

• ngcono ukukhiqiza kwebhizinisi. Ikhuthaza ukusungula, ukulalela nokubambisana. Izimfanelo ezenza abasebenzi basebenze kahle futhi ngaleyo ndlela bakhiqize kakhudlwana.
• ukuzivumelanisa nazo zonke izimo. Amakhono ethu angokomzwelo awusizo olukhulu ezimweni ezinzima. Zisisiza ukuba senze izinqumo ezinhle futhi singasabeli ngaphansi kwethonya lomzwelo. 
• ukudlulisa imibono yakhe ngokushelela. Ukwazi ukulalela, okungukuthi, ukucabangela imibono nemizwelo yabanye, kuyinzuzo enkulu. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi uzwakale futhi uqondwe lapho ufuna ukudlulisa imibono yakho. Inqobo nje uma ukwenza ngaphandle kobudlova. Ukuhlakanipha kwemizwa kungamandla angempela uma ungumphathi.