Okuqukethwe
Kungokuthintana nezingane zakwethu lapho sifunda khona ukuzivikela, ukuthanda nokuzonda ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ingabe likhona igebe leminyaka elikahle phakathi kwezelamani, ubani ongaba nethonya elihle ebuhlotsheni babo? Abazali babuze lo mbuzo ku-Elisabeth Darchis, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sasemtholampilo.
Kuvidiyo: Vala ukukhulelwa: yiziphi izingozi?
ABAZALI: Yini okufanele uyicabange ngezingane zakini ezisondelene?
Elisabeth Darchis: Lapho izingane zishiyana ngonyaka owodwa noma emibili, abazali basuke bedingeka kakhulu. Ingane endala ayizange njalo ibe naso isikhathi sokuphuma ekuhlanganiseni kwabazali lapho omunye ethatha indawo yakhe. Kodwa uma abazali beqhubeka beyinakekela ngokwanele, ingaphila kahle kakhulu. Izingane zizobe sezikhula ndawonye, nezithakazelo ezifanayo ezihambisana nokuhambisana.
“Uma izingane ziseminyakeni eseduze, zizokhula ndawonye, nezithakazelo ezifanayo eziholela ekuhlanganyeleni.”
Kuthiwani uma igebe okungenani liyiminyaka emithathu?
Elisabeth Darchis: Kawunzima kubazali ngoba omdala uzimele; kodwa umntwana ubuyisela abazali esikhathini samanabukeni. Cishe eminyakeni emi-3, ingane ivulela abanye isifuba. Ukulungele ukuzwa ukufika komntwana. Angase azizwe njengombango, kodwa ngosizo lwabazali, uyokwazi ukuwunqoba. Uma isesikoleni sabaqalayo, ingase ijabulele ukusiza abazali bayo futhi ifane nabo.
Yini ongayilindela uma okungenani kunomehluko weminyaka eyishumi?
Elisabeth Darchis: Izithakazelo ziyahlukana, kodwa omncane uyakwazi ukubona omdala njengesibonelo. Lona wakamuva akasekho ekuhlanganiseni nabazali bakhe. Uyazi ukuthi lokhu kuzalwa ngeke kususe uthando lwabo kuye. Ngokuvamile, wamukela umntwana njengengcebo. Uma ineminyaka engu-17 ubude, ingaphushwa. Kungase kumkhumbuze ngobulili babazali bakhe lapho yena esekulungele ukuzala. Abazali balahlekelwa inkululeko yabo, kodwa futhi kuyinjabulo yokugcina.
Ekugcineni, alikho igebe lobudala elikahle. Indlela abazali ababhekana ngayo nakho nendlela abanakekela ngayo wonke umuntu okubalulekile.
* Umbhali ohlangene wethi “Brothers and Sisters: between compliance and competition”, ed. uNathan.
Ingxoxo: U-Dorothée Blancheton