Okuqukethwe
Ku-trimester yokuqala umntwana wayeyithemba, bese kuba isiqiniseko; kowesibili sekukhona; ku-trimester yesithathu, usuku olunqunyiwe lusondela, ingane ilawula imicabango, izithakazelo, ukukhathazeka komama. Nakuba izehlakalo ezakha indwangu yempilo yansuku zonke zibonakala zimthinta kancane njengoba amasonto eqhubeka, umama ubheka uphawu oluncane lokukhula kwengane yakhe, ukukhula kwayo, indawo yayo, izikhathi zokuzola noma zokungahlaliseki. Kusukela amaphupho akhe emini, imicabango yakhe, ukubona ukunyakaza, izithombe ultrasound, owesifazane kancane kancane wacabanga ingane yakhe. Manje, umhlanganisa nomndeni, wenza izinhlelo ngaye. Njengoba ukuzalwa kusondela, ingane yangempela kancane kancane ithatha indawo yomntwana ocatshangelwayo. Umama, ubaba, ulungiselela ukwamukela ingane yabo.
Lungiselela ukubeletha
Izikhathi zokulungiselela umzali nokubeletha nazo ziwusizo ekukuqondiseni ezinkingeni zakho zomama, ukusiza owakwakho ukuthi aziqonde, futhi mhlawumbe akusize nengxoxo. Kubuye kube yindawo eyenza kube nokwenzeka ukwenza ukuxhumana phakathi kokuguqulwa komzimba, ukuthuthukiswa kwengane kanye nendlela yokubeletha. Ungakwazi futhi ukulungiselela ukuncelisa uma lokho kuyinhloso yakho, noma uthole mayelana nokuyeka ukuncelisa uma ungafuni ukuncelisa. Umbelethisi noma udokotela ngezinye izikhathi uyaqaphela ukuthi umama wesikhathi esizayo uhlala kude kakhulu nokukhathazeka kokubeletha, ukufika kwengane, noma ngokuphambene nalokho uhlaselwe izinkathazo eziphathelene nakho. Bazophakamisa ukuthi labo mama bahlangane nodokotela wezengqondo kwabakhulelwe ukuze abasize babone kangcono iqiniso lengane yabo, noma behlise ukukhathazeka kwabo.
Ukulungiswa okufanele
Phakathi ne-trimester yesithathu, abanye omama bakuthola kunzima ukuba nesithakazelo emsebenzini wabo, abanaki kancane, banenkumbulo engasebenzi kahle. Banovalo lokuthi ngeke besaba namakhono afanayo lapho bebuyela emsebenzini. Mabaqinisekiswe: lezi zinguquko azihlangene nemicabango ecindezelayo, noma ukulahlekelwa ikhono; ziwukujwayela kwesikhashana ekunakekelweni okudingekayo kuye ngesikhathi ekhulelwe kanye nengane yabo ngemva kwalokho. Ikhefu lokuyoteta lisetshenziselwa ukuzitika kulokhu “kukhathazeka okuyinhloko komama” okunempilo okuchazwe isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-DW Winnicott.
Ukwazi : Kwezinye izibhedlela zokubeletha, abesifazane abakhulelwe bangaba nezingxoxo ezimbalwa nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ukuze bakhulume ngezinto ezibakhathazayo: izinkathazo, ama-phobias, amaphupho amabi, njll, futhi bathole incazelo kuwo.
Amaphupho namaphupho amabi
Lapho silindele ingane siphupha kakhulu, ngokuvamile ngendlela ejulile kakhulu. Amaphupho okugcwala, ukugcwala, amanzi… kodwa kwesinye isikhathi aphenduke amaphupho amabi anodlame. Siyayibika ngoba ivamisile futhi iyakhathaza. Kukhona omama abesaba ukuthi lawa maphupho ayizibikezelo; singabaqinisekisa ngempela, okwenzekayo kuyinto evamile. Lo msebenzi ofana nephupho ungenxa yokuhlelwa kabusha okubalulekile kwengqondo kokukhulelwa; kwenzeka okufanayo kuzo zonke izinkathi eziwujuqu zokuphila, ngokuqinisekile ukubonile, siphupha kakhulu. Lawa maphupho achazwa yilokho abizwa nguMonique Bydlowski ukucaca kwengqondo kowesifazane okhulelwe. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, umama ulandisa ngokujulile izenzakalo ezenzeka ebuntwaneni bakhe; ezindala kakhulu, izinkumbulo ezicindezelwe ngaphambilini ziqala ukubonakala engqondweni, zivela kalula okungajwayelekile ukuzibonakalisa emaphusheni nasemaphusheni amabi.
«Ingane yami ayikajiki, udokotela ukhuluma ngokuhlinzwa. Nami ebengifuna ukuzala ngesisu. Ngizoya kuNOMA ... ngaphandle komyeni wami ...»Fathu.
Amaviki okugcina
Ukukhulelwa kuwukuziphendukela kwemvelo, hhayi uguquko. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unomoya osebenzayo, umama wesikhathi esizayo uzoqhuba izitolo, uzofuna ukusetha ikhoneni lomntwana; makagcineke kakhulu, uyakubalekela ukuzisola kwakhe. Kodwa kunoma yikuphi, imicabango yakhe, ukukhathazeka kwakhe kuyozungeza ingane. Bonke abesifazane bazama ukulungiselela ngokwengqondo ukubeletha, becabanga ukuthi yini engenzeka, nakuba kunjalo kungenakwenzeka ukwazi ngempela. Le micabango iwusizo ekudambiseni uvalo, izinkathazo. Futhi unganeliseki ngezindaba, okuhlangenwe nakho kwalabo abasondelene nawe. Futhi buza imibuzo yochwepheshe abakuzungezile, ababelethisi, odokotela bokubelethisa.
“Ngitshelwa ukuthi ingane yami isikhuluphele. Ingabe uzokwazi ukuphasa? ”
Ungahlali nalezi zinkathazo. I-trimester yesithathu imvamisa isikhathi lapho omama bethwala izingane zabo ngenjabulo esobala, bese kuthi, njengoba amasonto eqhubeka, ukuthi ingane inesisindo esiningi, ukuthi umama wesikhathi esizayo ulala kancane, akaqapheli, kubonakala ukukhathala okuthile. futhi, kanye nayo, isifiso sokuthi izenzakalo manje zishesha. Abanye omama bakhathazeka ngokuzonda izingane zabo ezingasekho. Ukuthi bayaqinisekiswa, kuwumuzwa ojwayelekile. Amaviki okugcina abe esebukeka emude kunalawo andulelayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, lokhu kuntula isineke kunenzuzo: kufiphaza ukubanjwa kokubeletha okuhlala kuphikelela kakhulu noma ngaphansi. Umuntu angazibuza ukuthi kungani lokhu kwesaba kusalokhu kukhona namuhla lapho intuthuko yezokwelapha kufanele iqinisekise. Lokhu kwesaba ngokungangabazeki kuhlobene nokungaziwa, kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okukodwa okuphilwe njengesiqephu sokuqala.
Kufanele kwengezwe ukuthi i-hypermedicalization evame ukuzungeza ukuzalwa, ulwazi oludluliswa izinhlelo ezithile zethelevishini, akubaqinisekisi abazali. Ungakhathazeki, owesifazane obelethela esibhedlela akayedwa kodwa uzungezwe ithimba elimgadile kanye nengane yakhe, ingasaphathwa eyokuba ngubaba wakusasa.
Ngobusuku bangaphambi kokubeletha, umama uvame ukubanjwa ngomsebenzi omkhulu, isifiso sokugcina, ukuhlanza, ukuqoqa, ukuhambisa ifenisha, amandla aphikisana nokukhathala kwezinsuku ezedlule.
Lesi sihloko sithathwe encwadini yereferensi kaLaurence Pernoud: 2018)
Thola zonke izindaba ezihlobene nemisebenzi ye