Parents.fr: Kungani izingane ziqala, cishe unyaka owodwa nengxenye ubudala, ukuthi “cha” kukho konke?
UBérengère Beauquier-Macotta: "Isigaba esingenasici" sibonisa izinguquko ezintathu ezihlobene ezibaluleke kakhulu ekukhuleni kwengqondo yengane. Okokuqala, manje usezibona njengomuntu ozimele, onomqondo wakhe, futhi uhlose ukuwenza kwaziwe. Igama elithi “cha” lisetshenziselwa ukuveza izifiso zakhe. Okwesibili, wayeqonda ukuthi intando yakhe ngokuvamile yayihlukile kweyabazali bakhe. Ukusetshenziswa kwegama elithi "cha" kumvumela, kancane kancane, ukuthi aqale inqubo yokunika amandla kubazali bakhe. Okwesithathu, ingane ifuna ukwazi ukuthi lokhu kuzimela okusha kuya kude kangakanani. Ngakho-ke uhlale “evivinya” abazali bakhe ukuze abone imingcele yabo.
P.: Ingabe izingane ziphikisana nabazali bazo kuphela?
BB-M. : Ngokuvamile, yebo… Futhi lokho kuvamile: babona abazali babo njengomthombo oyinhloko wegunya. Enkulisa noma kogogo nomkhulu, izithiyo azifani neze… Ziwuthola ngokushesha umehluko.
P.: Izingxabano zomzali nengane ngezinye izikhathi zithatha indawo engafanele…
BB-M. : Ukuqina kokuphikiswa kuncike kumlingiswa wengane, kodwa futhi, futhi mhlawumbe okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi abazali babhekana kanjani nenkinga. Ibekwe ngendlela ehambisanayo, imingcele iyamqinisekisa enganeni. Ngesihloko esinikezwe "sokuphikisana", kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi anikezwe impendulo efanayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kukhona ubaba, umama noma bobabili abazali. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma abazali bezivumela ukuba banqotshwe intukuthelo yabo futhi bengathathi unswinyo oluhambisana nesimo, ingane iba sengozini yokuzivalela ekuphikiseni kwayo. Uma imikhawulo ebekiwe ingaqondakali futhi ishintshashintsha, ilahlekelwa uhlangothi oluqinisekisayo okufanele lube nalo.
Kuvidiyo: imishwana engu-12 yomlingo yokudambisa intukuthelo yezingane
P.: Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, lapho abazali bekhathele noma bekhungathekile, bagcina bezinikele ...
BB-M. : Abazali bavame ukungabi nalusizo ngoba abalokothi bakhungathekise ingane. Lokhu kumfaka enkingeni angeke esakwazi ukuyilawula. Nokho, kwezinye izimo kungenzeka ukwenza izivumelwano ezithile. Kulokhu, kufanele kuhlukaniswe izinhlobo ezimbili zemikhawulo. Ekwenqabeni okuphelele, ezimweni eziveza ingozi yangempela noma lapho izimiso zemfundo obaluleke kakhulu kuzo (ungalali nomama nobaba, isibonelo) kusengozini, kuhle ukuba kucace ikakhulukazi futhi ungalokothi udayise. Nokho, uma kuziwa emithethweni "yesibili", ehlukile phakathi kwemindeni (njengesikhathi sokulala), ngokuqinisekile kungenzeka ukuyekethisa. Zingajwayelaniswa nesimo somntwana, umongo, njll. : “Kulungile, ngeke ulale ngokushesha. Ungakwazi ukubukela ithelevishini ngokuhlukile ngemva kwesikhashana ngoba awunaso isikole kusasa. Kodwa ngeke ngifunde indaba kusihlwa. “
P.: Ingabe abazali ababuzi okuningi kakhulu ezinganeni zabo?
BB-M. : Izidingo zabazali kufanele, vele, zivumelane namandla engane. Kungenjalo, ngeke athobele futhi ngeke kuphume ngentando embi.
Zonke izingane azikhuli ngezinga elifanayo. Kufanele ngempela unake lokho wonke umuntu angakuqonda noma cha.
P.: Ingabe “ukuyisa ingane emdlalweni wayo” kungaba indlela yokubuyisa ukuthula nokuzola?
BB-M. : Kufanele uqaphele ngoba akuwona ngempela umdlalo wengane. Nokho, bekungeke kube kuhle ukudlala naye. Ukumenza akholelwe ukuthi siyamvumela lapho singanqobi kuye kuyoba okuphambene nakancane. Kodwa, uma ingane iqonda ukuthi abazali badlala NAYE nokuthi bonke ngaleyo ndlela bahlanganyela injabulo yangempela, kungaba nengxenye ekushweleni kwengane. Ukuze baxazulule inkinga eyenzeka kanye, futhi inqobo nje uma zingasetshenziswa ngokweqile, abazali bangazama ukuphambukisa ukunaka kwengane kokunye ukukhathazeka.
P: Futhi uma, naphezu kwakho konke, ingane iba “engaphileki”?
BB-M. : Kufanele-ke sizame ukuqonda ukuthi kwenzekani. Ezinye izici zingase zibhebhethekise izingxabano phakathi kwengane nabazali bayo. Zingaxhunyaniswa nomlingiswa wengane, emlandweni wakhe, ebuntwaneni babazali ...
Ezimweni ezinjalo, ngokuqinisekile kuyasiza ukukhuluma ngakho nodokotela wakho wezingane, ozokwazi ukudlulisela abazali kudokotela wezifo zengqondo wezingane uma kunesidingo.
P.: Isigaba sokuphikisa sithatha isikhathi esingakanani ezinganeni?
BB-M. : “Inkathi engekho” inesikhathi esilinganiselwe. Ngokuvamile iphetha cishe eminyakeni emithathu ubudala. Phakathi nalesi sigaba, njengasenkathini yenhlekelele yobusha, ingane ihlukana nabazali bayo futhi izuza ukuzimela. Ngenhlanhla, abazali bajabulela ukuzola okude phakathi!