Izingane zanamuhla zihlukile ezizukulwaneni ezedlule: azikwazi ukuzithiba futhi azikwazi ukuyibamba imizwa. Zingabafundisa kanjani ukuphatha ukuziphatha kwabo? Iseluleko esivela kuntatheli kanye nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uKatherine Reynolds Lewis.
Amaqhinga omkhuba, njengokuthi «hlala futhi ucabange ngokuziphatha kwakho» kanye nendlela enhle yakudala yokuvuza, awasebenzi nezingane zanamuhla. Ake ucabange ukuthi ingane yakho ayikwazanga ukuhamba ngebhayisikili ukuya kuphawu lokuma nokubuya - ungamthuma ukuthi "ahlale futhi acabange" yedwa ngalokhu? Vele akunjalo. Okokuqala, lokhu akusizi ngalutho: ingane idinga ukuthuthukisa ibhalansi nokubambisana, futhi isijeziso ngeke simsize kulokhu. Okwesibili, ngale ndlela uzomphuca ithuba elihle lokufunda … funda.
Izingane akufanele zithonywe imivuzo nezijeziso. Kunalokho, abazali kufanele bafundise izingane zabo ukuzithiba, kuhlanganise nangesibonelo. Yini ezosiza kulokhu?
Amaprosesa asekelwe
Qaphela izici ezingase zibe nomthelela ekuziphatheni kwengane yakho: izikhathi ezimatasa kakhulu, ukungalali noma umoya ohlanzekile, ukusebenzisa ngokweqile amagajethi, ukungondleki kahle, ukufunda, ukunaka noma ukuphazamiseka kwemizwelo. Umsebenzi wethu njengabazali akukona ukuphoqa izingane ukuthi zenze konke ngendlela efanele. Kudingeka sibanikeze ukuzimela nomthwalo wemfanelo okwengeziwe, sibafundise ukuthi yini edingekayo ukuze baphumelele, futhi sibasekele ngokomzwelo lapho behluleka. Ungacabangi: “Ngingamthembisa noma ngimsabise ngokuthi uzoziphatha kahle?” Cabanga: “Yini odinga ukumfundisa yona kulokhu?”
Oxhumana naye
Ukuzwelana nalabo abasizungezile - ikakhulukazi umama nobaba - kanye nokuxhumana ngokomzimba kusisiza sonke ukuthi sizilawule kangcono. Ukusebenzelana komuntu noyedwa nengane, isikhuthazo, imisebenzi yokuzilibazisa yamasonto onke yomndeni wonke, imisebenzi yasekhaya ndawonye, nokwazisa usizo noma izithakazelo zengane (esikhundleni sokuthi «ukudumisa ngokujwayelekile») kuyasiza ukugcina ukunamathelana. Uma umntwana ecasukile, qala ubuyisele ukuthintana bese uthatha isinyathelo.
Dialogue
Uma ingane inenkinga, ungayixazululi ngokwakho. Futhi ungasho ukuthi uyazi ukuthi yini engalungile: lalela ingane kuqala. Khuluma naye ngenhlonipho njengoba ubungenza kumngane wakho. Unganqumi, ungafaki umbono wakho, kodwa wabelane ngolwazi.
Zama ukuthi «cha» kancane ngangokunokwenzeka. Esikhundleni salokho, sebenzisa “nini…ke” kanye neziqinisekiso ezinhle. Ungayifaki ilebula ingane yakho. Lapho uchaza ukuziphatha kwakhe, qiniseka ukuthi usho izici ezinhle ozibonile. Impendulo mayelana nokuziphatha okuthile noma impumelelo izokhuthaza ingane ukuthi ithathe isinyathelo esengeziwe, kuyilapho "ukudumisa ngokujwayelekile" kungase kubangele.
Imingcele
Imiphumela yezenzo ezithile kufanele kuvunyelwane ngayo kusengaphambili - ngokuvumelana nokuhloniphana. Imiphumela kufanele ibe yenele ecaleni, eyaziwa kusengaphambili futhi ehlobene ngokunengqondo nokuziphatha kwengane. Makafunde kokwakhe.
Imisebenzi
Yenza ingane ibe nesibopho sengxenye yemisebenzi yasendlini: ukugeza izitsha, ukuchelela izimbali, ukuhlanza i-nursery. Umsebenzi wasekhaya ngokuvamile ulele endaweni yomthwalo wakhe wemfanelo. Uma isikole sibuza kakhulu, khuluma nothisha noma usize ingane ukuba iqhube ingxoxo enjalo (yebo, udinga ukuqonda kusengaphambili ukuthi ingxoxo enjalo inengqondo).
Amakhono
Gxila kancane empumelelweni ezifundweni, ezemidlalo, nezobuciko nokuningi ekulawuleni imizwa, isenzo esinenjongo, namakhono okuphila. Siza ingane yakho ibone ukuthi yini esebenza kangcono ukuyithulisa: ikhona elithule, ukuvivinya umzimba, isipina noma ibhola elicindezelekile, ingxoxo, ukwanga, noma okunye.
Ukuziphatha okubi “ukhula” olukhulayo uma “uluvundisa” ngokunaka kwakho. Ungalenzi leli phutha. Kungcono ukuqaphela amacala lapho ingane iziphatha ngendlela ongathanda ngayo.
Umthombo: C. Lewis «Izindaba Ezinhle Mayelana Nokuziphatha Okubi» (Career Press, 2019).