I-Psychology

abstract

Ingabe ufuna ukufunda ukugwema izingxabano futhi uzuze impumelelo ezingxoxweni ezinzima kakhulu, uqinisekise abaxhumanisi abanzima kakhulu, uguqule abaphikisi babe abalingani, uphethe izinkontileka ezinenzuzo namadili?

Umbhali wale ncwadi, omunye wabasunguli be-Harvard Negotiation Project edumile, unikeza uguquko "lwesu lokuphumelela" elihlanganisa izigaba ezinhlanu. "Izinyathelo" ezinhlanu, ezisetshenziswe ngokulandelanayo, zizosiza ukuguqula ngisho nokubhekana ngqo ekufuneni okuhlangene kwesixazululo.

Isu lingasetshenziswa nanoma yimuphi umbangi — umphathi onolaka, osemusha ongazi lutho, uzakwenu obukela phansi, noma iklayenti elinyanyekayo. Ingasetshenziswa amanxusa, abameli, osomabhizinisi ngisho nabashade nabo abafuna ukusindisa imindeni yabo. Isu lokuphumelela likuvumela ukuthi uzuze umphumela oyifunayo ngisho nasezingxoxweni ezinzima kakhulu.

I. Ukulungiselela

Izinhlinzeko ezijwayelekile. Nqoba izithiyo zokubambisana

I-Diplomacy iwubuciko bokuvumela omunye umuntu enze lokho okufunayo.
UDaniel Vare, usopolitiki wase-Italy

Sonke singena ezingxoxweni nsuku zonke. Isikhathi esiningi sichitha sizama ukufinyelela esivumelwaneni nabanye abantu. Njengoba sizama ukuxoxisana ngomoya wokubambisana, ezikhathini eziningi sizodumala. Silangazelela isivumelwano, kodwa impendulo kaningi ithi "CHA".

Cabanga ngosuku olujwayelekile. Ngesikhathi sasekuseni, uxabana nowakwakho mayelana nokuthenga imoto entsha. Kubonakala sengathi sekuyisikhathi sokushintsha imoto, kodwa umngane womshado uyaphendula: “Kuyahlekisa lokhu! Wazi kahle ukuthi ngeke sikwazi ukukukhokhela njengamanje." Bese ufika emsebenzini, lapho unomhlangano nomphathi. Ukhuluma ngephrojekthi entsha elungiswe kahle, kodwa ngemva komzuzu umphathi uyakuphazamisa ngegama elithi: “Sesivele sikuzamile lokhu, kodwa akuphumelelanga. Umbuzo olandelayo!

Phakathi nekhefu lakho lesidlo sasemini, uzama ukubuyisela i-toaster enesici esitolo, kodwa umdayisi uyenqaba ukubuyisela imali, echaza ukuthi awunayo irisidi: “Lena yimithetho esitolo sethu.”

Ngemva kwesidlo sasemini, uletha inkontileka okuvunyelwene ngayo ngaphambili ekhasimendeni ukuze lisayinwe. Uyakhula kakade. Yiba nozakwabo ngakho futhi bavumelana ngokukhiqiza. Kodwa iklayenti lithi kungalindelekile: “Ngiyaxolisa. Ubasi uyenqaba ukugunyaza isivumelwano ngaphandle kokuthi usinikeze isaphulelo samaphesenti ayishumi nanhlanu."

Kusihlwa udinga ukuphendula izingcingo ezimbalwa, kodwa ifoni imatasa nendodakazi yakho eneminyaka eyishumi nantathu. Uyacasuka ucele ukudedela ucingo, futhi indodakazi yakho ikumemeza isephaseji: “Kungani ngingenawo ulayini ohlukile? Bonke abangani bami banayo!

Ngamunye wethu ungena ezingxoxweni ezinzima nomngane womshado onochuku, nomphathi onobukhosi, umdayisi ongayekethisi, iklayenti elingathembekile, noma osemusha ongalawuleki. Ngaphansi kwengcindezi, ngisho nabantu abalungile nabanengqondo bangaphenduka babe abaphikisi abacasukayo futhi abanenkani. Izingxoxo zingadonsela phansi noma zibhidlize, zithathe isikhathi, zikwenze ungalali, futhi kubangele izilonda zesisu.

Ngomqondo obanzi, ukuxoxisana kuyinqubo yokuxhumana okubili okuhloselwe ukufinyelela esivumelwaneni nabanye abantu lapho izithakazelo zakho ziqondana ngandlela thize futhi zehluka kwezinye. Umqondo "wezingxoxo" awukhawulelwe emicimbini esemthethweni, lapho amaqembu ehlezi etafuleni futhi axoxe nge-ajenda; futhi kungukuxhumana okungakahleleki ongena kukho, uzama ukuthola okudingayo komunye umuntu.

Khumbula ukuthi uzenza kanjani izinqumo ezibalulekile ezithinta ikusasa lakho - izinqumo ezinquma umsebenzi wakho nempilo yakho yomuntu siqu. Iyiphi ingxenye yalezi zinkinga ongayixazulula uwedwa, futhi iyiphi ingxenye okufanele uyixazulule ndawonye nabanye abantu, ngezingxoxo? Cishe wonke umuntu engibuze kuye lo mbuzo uvumile ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuxoxisana cishe kuwo wonke amacala. Ukuxoxisana kuyindlela eyinhloko yokwenza izinqumo kokubili emisebenzini yobungcweti nasempilweni yomuntu siqu.

Kufanele futhi kuqashelwe ukuthi lena indlela eyinhloko yokuthatha izinqumo nasemphakathini. Ngisho nakulezo zimo lapho thina ngokwethu singahlali etafuleni lezingxoxo, ukuphila kwethu kuncike emphumeleni wabo. Uma izingxoxo phakathi kwabaphathi besikole nezinyunyana zothisha zitelekile, izingane zethu aziyi esikoleni, zihleli emakhaya. Uma izingxoxo phakathi komnikazi wefemu lapho sisebenza khona nomuntu ongase abe umthengi ziphuka, inkampani isengozini yokuqothuka futhi singase silahlekelwe imisebenzi yethu. Uma izingxoxo phakathi kukahulumeni wezwe lethu kanye nesitha sakhe zingasizi ndawo, umphumela ungase ube impi. Ngamanye amazwi, ukuphila kwethu kunqunywa izingxoxo.

Ukuxazulula izinkinga ngokuhlanganyela

Sonke singabaxoxisana, nakuba abantu abaningi bengaluthandi lolu hlelo. Sibona izingxoxo njengokuhlangana okucindezelayo. Kithina kubonakala kufanele senze ukukhetha okungajabulisi. Uma sibonisa "ubumnene", sizama ukugcina ubuhlobo obuhle nolunye uhlangothi, khona-ke sizolahlekelwa nakanjani. Uma sithatha isikhundla «kanzima» ukuze sifinyelele umphumela oyifunayo, lokhu kuzoholela ekuwohlokeni noma ngisho nekhefu ebuhlotsheni nolunye uhlangothi.

Nokho, le ndlela inenye indlela: ukuxazulula izinkinga ngokubambisana. Lena inhlanganisela yesu eliqinile nelithambile: ukuthamba maqondana nabantu kanye nokuqina kokufaneleka kodaba. Esikhundleni sokuhlaselana, niyabambisana ukuze nihlasele inkinga. Anigwazana ngokubukeka okuthukuthele ngaphesheya kwetafula, kodwa nihlala phansi eduze komunye nomunye futhi nibhekane nenkinga evamile. Ngamanye amazwi, ubuyisela ukungqubuzana komuntu siqu nokuxazulula izinkinga ngokuhlanganyela. Lolu wuhlobo lwezingxoxo mina noRoger Fischer esaluchaza eminyakeni eyishumi edlule ku-Negotiating Without Defeat.

Lapho kuxazululwa izinkinga ndawonye, ​​izithakazelo zithathwa njengesisekelo, hhayi izikhundla. Uqala ngokuhlonza izithakazelo zeqembu eliphikisayo—ukungabaza, izidingo, ukwesaba, nezifiso ezisekela isikhundla sabo nezishukumisa ukuziphatha kwabo. Ngemuva kwalokho kufanele uhlaziye izinketho ezahlukahlukene zokwanelisa lezi zithakazelo. Umgomo wakho uwukufinyelela isivumelwano esizuzisa bobabili ngendlela ephumelelayo nenobungane ngangokunokwenzeka.

Uma, isibonelo, ufuna ukukhushulwa kanye nokukhushulwa kweholo, futhi umphathi wakho uthi cha kuwe, echaza ukuntuleka kwemali kusabelomali, ungayeki kulesi sigaba. Bheka isimo njengenselele yokuxazulula izinkinga. Umphathi wakho ubheka okuthakaselayo, okungase kuhlanganise ukukhokhela imfundo yezingane zakho nokukhushulwa ezikhundleni. Bese nibonisana ndawonye nizama ukuhlangabezana nalezo zintshisakalo ngaphandle kokudlulela kubhajethi. Ungase ukwazi ukuxoxisana ngokunweba umsebenzi kanye nesikweletu somfundi esikhishwe yinkampani, kanye nesithembiso sokuthi uzonyuselwa imali ngonyaka ukuze ukwazi ukukhokha imali ebolekiwe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kokubili izithakazelo zakho kanye nezithakazelo zomqashi zizokwaneliswa.

Ukuxazulula izinkinga ndawonye kuvumela imiphumela engcono kuzo zombili izinhlangothi. Le ndlela yonga isikhathi nomzamo, ngoba asikho isidingo sokuma endaweni ethile. Ukuxazulula izinkinga ndawonye ngokuvamile kuthuthukisa ubudlelwano phakathi kwezinhlangothi futhi kuholela enzuzweni efanayo esikhathini esizayo.


Uma usithandile lesi siqeshana, ungathenga futhi ulande incwadi ngamalitha

Izithiyo ezinhlanu zokubambisana

Abangabazayo ngokuqinisekile bazoveza ukuthi konke lokhu kulula ukukumemezela kodwa kunzima ukukusebenzisa. Bathi izimiso zokuxazulula izinkinga ngokubambisana zifana nesifungo sokwethembeka somuntu osanda kushada: izifungo zomshado ngokungangabazeki zithuthukisa ubuhlobo, kodwa kunzima ukuzisebenzisa emhlabeni wangempela, ogcwele ukucindezeleka nokungqubuzana, izilingo neziphepho.

Mhlawumbe uzozama ukubandakanya umphikisi esixazululweni esihlangene senkinga, kodwa umphumela ungase ube ukungqubuzana. Abantu banqotshwa kalula imizwelo, umkhuba wokuthatha isimo esiqinile, noma ukuvumela ukucindezelwa kolunye uhlangothi.

Umhlaba wangempela uhlale uphakamisa izithiyo ekubambisaneni. Ngezansi kunezithiyo ezinhlanu ezivame kakhulu.

  • Ukusabela kwakho. Umgoqo wokuqala ungaphakathi kuwena. Ukuziphatha komuntu kusekelwe ekuphenduleni. Lapho ucindezelekile, ubhekene nokungamukelwa, noma uzizwa usongelwa, isifiso sakho semvelo siwukuziphindiselela. Ngokuvamile, lokhu kuziphatha kukhiqiza kabusha kuphela umjikelezo wesenzo sokuphendula, lapho zombili izinhlangothi zilahlekelwa khona. Okunye okungase kuphenduleke wukunqamula izingxoxo ukuze kugcinwe ubudlelwano. Kulesi simo, ulahlekelwa ngokubonisa ubuthakathaka futhi uvumele abanye abantu ukuthi bakuxhaphaze. Ngakho, inkinga ayikho kuphela ekuziphatheni kolunye uhlangothi, kodwa futhi ekuphenduleni kwakho, okungase kubangele lokhu kuziphatha.
  • Imizwa yabo. Isithiyo esilandelayo yimizwa engemihle yohlangothi oluphambene. Ulaka lungabangelwa intukuthelo nobutha. Isikhundla esiqinile ngokuvamile sisekelwe ekwesabeni nasekungathembani. Abamelene nawe, beqiniseka ngokufaneleka kwabo kanye nokukhohlisa kwesikhundla sakho, ezimweni eziningi bamane benqabe ukukulalela. Uma kubhekwa ukuthi umhlaba wakhiwe phezu kwesimiso esithi «umuntu uyimpisi kumuntu», bathethelela amaqhinga abo angcolile.
  • Isikhundla sabo. Lapho ukuxazulula inkinga ndawonye, ​​ukuziphatha kolunye uhlangothi, okubangelwa umkhuba wokuqinisa izikhundla zabo nokufuna ukuzinikela komunye umuntu, kungaba isithiyo. Ezikhathini eziningi, abamelene nabo abayazi enye indlela yokuxoxisana, kodwa bamane basebenzise amaqhinga abawajwayele abaqale ukuwafunda ku-sandbox. Kubo kubonakala sengathi okuwukuphela kwendlela yokuvuma, futhi, ngokwemvelo, ngeke bakwenze lokhu.
  • Ukunganeliseki kwabo. Ngisho noma uhlose ukwenza isivumelwano esizuzisayo, olunye uhlangothi alunayo ngempela intshisekelo kumphumela onjalo. Mhlawumbe abaphikisi abaziboni izinzuzo ngokwabo. Ngisho noma ukwazi ukwanelisa izithakazelo zabo, bangase balahlekelwe isithunzi ngokuvuma ukuvunyelwa. Futhi uma isivumelwano sisekelwe embonweni wakho, singanqatshwa ngenxa yalesi sizathu kuphela.
  • Amandla abo. Futhi ekugcineni, uma uhlangothi oluphikisayo lubheka izingxoxo mayelana "nokunqoba - ukunqotshwa", khona-ke kuzobe kubekwe ukuwina. Futhi kungase kuqondiswe isimiso esithi: "Okwami ​​kungokwami, futhi okungokwakho - sizobona." Kungani nibambisana uma lokho enikufunayo kungafinyelelwa ngosizo lwamandla?

Ukuze ungezwa "cha", kufanele unqobe zonke izithiyo ezinhlanu zokubambisana: ukusabela kwakho, imizwa yabo, isimo sabo sengqondo, ukunganeliseki kwabo, namandla abo. Kulula ukukholelwa ukuthi ukwakha imigoqo, ulaka, nobuqili bobuqili kuyizici zemvelo zohlangothi oluphikisayo nokuthi akukho ongakwenza ngakho. Nokho, kusemandleni akho ukuba nomthelela ekuziphatheni kwabo uma ungakwazi ukuthuthukisa indlela efanele yezisusa ezinquma lokhu kuziphatha.

Isu lokuphuma

Le ncwadi inikeza isu elizinyathelo ezinhlanu eliklanyelwe ukunqoba zonke izithiyo ezinhlanu zokubambisana—Isu Lokuxoxisana Nge-Breakthrough Negotiation.

Incazelo yaleli su izosiza ukuqonda isifaniso nokuzulazula. Itilosi cishe ngeke likwazi ukufinyelela umgomo uma liwubekela inkambo ngokuqondile. Ziyokwanda izithiyo eziningi phakathi kwakhe nendawo aya kuyo: imimoya enamandla namagagasi, izixhobo zamatshe kanye nama-shallows, ingasaphathwa eyeziphepho nama-squalls. Ukuze ufike lapho uya khona, wena, njengetilosi enolwazi, kufanele uhlale ushintsha indlela yakho — umzila wakho uyamazombezombe.

Izimiso ezifanayo ziyasebenza ezingxoxweni. Umgomo wakho isivumelwano esizuzisa nonke. Umzila oqondile (ugxile kuzithakazelo kuqala bese uphakamisa izinketho zokuhlangabezana nalezo zintshisekelo) ubukeka ulula futhi ukhanga. Kodwa emhlabeni wangempela wokusabela okubukhali nemizwelo enamandla, izikhundla ezinzima, ukunganeliseki nolaka, ngokuvamile akunakwenzeka ukufinyelela esivumelwaneni esizuzisa bobabili ngendlela eqondile. Ukuze ungabhekani nokwehluleka, kufanele uqondise — okungukuthi, uye emgomeni ngendlela ezungezayo.

Umongo wesu lokuphumelela isenzo esingaqondile nje. Isu lidinga ukuthi wenze ngokumelene nomuzwa wakho wemvelo ezimweni ezinzima. Lapho olunye uhlangothi luvimba noma luhlasela, ulingeka ukuba usabele ngendlela efanayo. Lapho ubhekene nenzondo, uxabana, futhi isimo sengqondo esingenangqondo sikushukumisela ukuba wenqabe. Ukungalaleli komphikisi kukwenza ufune ukumcindezela, futhi ulaka lwesitha likuphusha ukuthi uphindisele ulaka. Kodwa-ke, ukusabela okunjalo kuzoholela ekudumaleni kuphela - udlala umdlalo womunye umuntu ngemithetho yomunye umuntu.

Ithuba lakho kuphela njengomxoxi shintsha imithetho yomdlalo. Esikhundleni sokudlala ngemithetho yomunye umuntu, vumela olunye uhlangothi luqonde futhi lwamukele indlela yakho, okuwukuxazulula izinkinga ndawonye. Omunye wabadlali be-baseball abakhulu kakhulu, u-Sadahara Oh (ungambiza ngo-Babe Ruth wase-Japan) wake waveza imfihlo yempumelelo yakhe. Uthe ubheka umphangi njengozakwethu, ngamunye unikeza ithuba lokushaya amaphuzu. Abaxoxisana abaphumelelayo benza into efanayo: baphatha elinye iqembu njengozakwethu ethubeni lokufinyelela isivumelwano esizuzisayo. Kubuciko bokulwa baseJapane - obufana ne-judo, i-jujitsu ne-aikido - omunye wezimiso eziyinhloko ukugwema ukuphikiswa okuqondile kwamandla omuntu kulowo omelene naye. Njengoba ukuzama ukuphula ukumelana kuqinisa kuphela, uzama ukudlula ukumelana nesitha. Impumelelo yenziwa kanjena.

Isu le-breakout alibandakanyi ukuphoqelela isikhundla somuntu ngakolunye uhlangothi. Esikhundleni sokuletha umbono omusha ovela ngaphandle, usiza iqembu eliphikisayo ukuthi lizenzele ngokwalo. Awubatsheli ukuthi benzeni, kodwa bavumele bazinqumele. Awubaphoqi ukuthi baguqule umbono wabo, kodwa udala izimo zokufunda. Yibona kuphela abangakunqoba ukumelana kwabo, umsebenzi wakho ukubasiza.

Ukumelana nokuxazulula izinkinga ngokubambisana kunqunywa izithiyo ezinhlanu ezibalwe ngenhla. Njengomxoxisi we-breakout, kufanele ususe imigoqo phakathi kuka-CHA kanye no-YEBO esivumelwaneni esizuzisa ngokufanayo. Isithiyo ngasinye sinesinyathelo saso samasu.

  • Isinyathelo sokuqala. Njengoba isithiyo sokuqala siyimpendulo yakho yemvelo, isinyathelo sokuqala ukucindezela leyo mpendulo. Ukuxazulula izinkinga ndawonye, ​​kufanele nilondoloze ukuthula kwengqondo futhi nigxile ekufinyeleleni umgomo. Indlela ewusizo yokubona sonke isimo ukucabanga ukuthi umi kuvulandi futhi ubheke phansi ezingxoxweni. Isinyathelo sokuqala sesu lokuphumelela ukugibela kuvulandi.
  • Isinyathelo Sesibili. Isithiyo esilandelayo okudingeka usinqobe yimizwa engemihle yolunye uhlangothi, ehlanganisa ukuzivikela, ukwesaba, ukusola, nobutha. Kulula kakhulu ukungena engxabanweni, kodwa akufanele uvumele isilingo. Ngemva kokubhekana nemizwa yakho, kufanele usize omunye umuntu ukuba enze okufanayo. Ukwakha isimo sezulu esivumayo sokuxazulula izinkinga ngokuhlanganyela, kuyadingeka ukususa imizwelo emibi yabalingani. Ukuze wenze lokhu, kufanele wenze ngokuphambene nalokho abakulindele. Balindele ukuthi uziphathe njengesitha. Kunalokho, kufanele uhambe ngenye indlela ngokulalela abaphikisana nawe, uvume izimpikiswano nemizwa yabo, uvumelane nabo, futhi ubonise inhlonipho. Uma ufuna ukuhlala phansi futhi uqale ukuxazulula izinkinga, udinga ukuya ohlangothini lwabo.
  • Isinyathelo sesithathu. Manje sekuyisikhathi sokuqala ukusebenza ndawonye ukuxazulula inkinga. Lokhu kunzima ukukwenza uma olunye uhlangothi lungahlehli nesinyathelo esisodwa endaweni yalo futhi luzama ukuzuza ukuzinikela kwakho. Unesifiso esingokwemvelo sokwenqaba isipho sabo, kodwa lokhu kuzokwandisa kuphela inkani yabo. Yenza okuphambene. Lalela umusho bese uwuhlaka kabusha ngomzamo wokuxazulula inkinga. Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, ungajwayelana nesimo sohlangothi oluphambene futhi uzame ukuthola izisusa: "Ngicela uchaze ngokuningiliziwe. Ngifuna ukuqonda ukuthi kungani uyidinga." Yenza sengathi izimbangi zakho zinentshisekelo yangempela yokuxazulula inkinga. Ngakho, Isinyathelo sesithathu sesu lokuphuma ukushintsha uhlaka.
  • Isinyathelo Sesine. Ngisho noma ukwazile ukubandakanya olunye uhlangothi ohlelweni lokuxazulula izinkinga ngokuhlanganyela, isivumelwano esizuzisayo singase sisekude kakhulu. Ozakwethu abaxoxisanayo bangase bazizwe benganelisekile futhi bangabaze izinzuzo zesivumelwano. Cishe ufuna ukufaka ingcindezi kubo, kodwa lokhu kuzokwandisa ukumelana. Yenza okuphambene. Njengoba omunye uhlakaniphile waseShayina asho, umuntu kufanele "akhe ibhuloho legolide" elixhumanisa isikhundla sabo nesivumelwano esizuzisa bobabili. Kufanele uvale igebe phakathi kwezinto abazithakaselayo nezakho. Basize bonge ubuso futhi bamukele umphumela wezingxoxo njengokunqoba kwabo. Isinyathelo sesine Isu lokuphumelela ukwakha ibhuloho legolide kubo.
  • Isinyathelo sesihlanu. Naphezu kwemizamo yakho emihle, olunye uhlangothi lungase lungabambisani, luqiniseka ukuthi lungakunqoba ngenkani. Kulesi sigaba, kunesilingo sokukhulisa ukungqubuzana. Nokho, ukusongelwa nokuphoqelelwa kuvame ukubhekana nokumelana, okuholela ezimpini ezibizayo nezingenazithelo. Okunye ukusebenzisa amandla hhayi ukukhulisa ukungqubuzana, kodwa ukufundisa. Qinisa amandla akho njengomxoxisi ukuze ubuyisele olunye uhlangothi etafuleni lezingxoxo. Bonisa abamelene nawe ukuthi ngeke bakwazi ukuphumelela bebodwa — kanye nawe kuphela. Ngakho, Isinyathelo sesihlanu sesu lokuphumelela ukusebenzisa amandla ukuze ufunde.

Ukulandelana kwalezi zinyathelo kubaluleke kakhulu. Ngeke ukwazi ukucisha imizwa engemihle yolunye uhlangothi ngaphandle kokuba uqale ubhekane neyakho. Kunzima ukwakhela uzakwethu ibhuloho eligolide uze uguqule igeyimu ibe yisixazululo esabiwe senkinga. Kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi, ukuthatha, isibonelo, isinyathelo sokuqala, kufanele ucabangele lesi sigaba siphelile. Ngokuphambene nalokho, kuyo yonke inqubo yokuxoxisana, kufanele "ukhuphuke uye kuvulandi". Ngokushesha nje lapho ubona intukuthelo noma ukukhungatheka kwabamelene nawe, kufanele uthathe igxathu elibheke kubo. Inqubo yokuxoxisana ingafaniswa ne-symphony, lapho izinsimbi ezahlukene zingena ngokulandelana, bese ziholela izingxenye zazo ekupheleni.

Isu lempumelelo lingasetshenziswa kunoma ubani—ubasi onolaka, osemusha ongokomzwelo, osebenza naye onobutha, noma iklayenti elingalindelekile. Ingasetshenziswa osomaqhinga abafuna ukugwema impi, abameli abangadingi icala elibizayo, noma abashadile abazama ukusindisa umshado.

Abekho abantu ababili nezimo ezifanayo, ngakho-ke ukuze uthuthukise isu lakho, kufanele uhlanganise izimiso eziyisisekelo zesu lokuphumelela nolwazi ngezimo ezithile. Ayikho iresiphi yomlingo eqinisekisa impumelelo kunoma yikuphi ukuxoxisana. Kodwa ukubekezela, ukubekezela, kanye neqhinga lokuphumelela kuzokwandisa amathuba akho okuthola okufunayo ngisho nasezingxoxweni ezinzima kakhulu.

Izahluko ezilandelayo zinemininingwane ngezinyathelo ezinhlanu zesu lempumelelo futhi zinikeza izindlela eziqondile zokuzisebenzisa, eziboniswa ngezibonelo zempilo yangempela. Okokuqala, nokho, kunesandulela mayelana nokuthi yini ukhiye engxoxweni ephumelelayo: ukulungiselela.

Isandulela. Ukulungiselela, ukulungiselela kanye nokulungiselela okwengeziwe

Ngake ngabuza inxusa laseBrithani uLord Carendon ukuthi yisiphi isifundo esiyinhloko asithola eminyakeni eminingi yokusebenza ngempumelelo kuhulumeni. “Isifundo esiyinhloko,” ephendula, “ngasifunda ekuqaleni nje komsebenzi wami, lapho ngimiswa eMpumalanga Ephakathi njengomeluleki womunye wabameleli beziphathimandla zendawo. Umphathi wami kwakudingeka eze edolobhaneni elithile nsuku zonke ukuze axazulule izingxabano futhi axazulule ezinye izinkinga ezicindezelayo. Ukufika kwakhe kwabangela isiphithiphithi sangempela - abantu bendawo bamvimbezela ngezicelo futhi balwela ukunikeza ikhofi. Kwaqhubeka kanjalo kwaze kwahlwa, saze sahamba. Esimweni esinjalo, wayengakhohlwa kalula inhloso yokuvakasha kwakhe, uma kungenjalo ngomkhuba owodwa olula...

Ngaphambi kokuba angene emzaneni othile, wayemisa i-jeep eceleni komgwaqo abuze, “Sizokwenzani kulo muzi namuhla?” Siphendule lo mbuzo ndawonye bese siqhubeka. Eshiya leli dolobhana ekupheleni kosuku, waphinda wamisa i-jeep eceleni komgwaqo wayesebuza: “Sisebenze kanjani? Ingabe ukwazile ukufeza lokho obuhlose ukukwenza?”

Lo mkhuba olula uyisifundo esikhulu esifundwe uCarrendon. Yonke imihlangano kufanele yandulwe ngokulungiselela. Ngemuva komhlangano ngamunye, kuyadingeka ukuhlola inqubekelaphambili, ukuchibiyela isu nokulungiselela umzuliswano omusha. Imfihlo yezingxoxo eziphumelelayo ilula: lungiselela, lungiselela, lungiselela.

Izingxoxo eziningi ziyanqotshwa noma zilahleke ngaphambi kokuthi ziqale, kuye ngekhwalithi yokulungiselela. Noma ubani onethemba lokuphumelela «i-improvisation» ngokuvamile unephutha elijulile. Ngisho noma abantu abanjalo bekwazile ukufinyelela esivumelwaneni, bavame ukuphuthelwa amathuba okuba kusizakale okungenzeka ngenxa yamalungiselelo. Uma izingxoxo zinzima kakhulu, kufanele kuqine kakhulu ukulungiselela.

Uma kuziwa ekulungiseleleni, abantu abaningi baphakamisa izandla ngenxa yokukhungatheka: “Kodwa angikwazi ukuchitha isikhathi ngilungiselela!” Kubukeka sengathi ukuzilungiselela kusezansi ohlwini lwabo lwezinto abazozenza. Kuphakathi kokuthi ucingo luzokhala, oludinga impendulo ephuthumayo, noma udinga ukuphuthuma emhlanganweni ongeke waphuthelwa, noma kuphakama inkinga ephuthumayo ekhaya ...

Eqinisweni, awukwazi ukukhokhela ukungalungiseleli. Zinike isikhathi sokulungiselela, noma ngabe kusho ukufinyeza izingxoxo ngokwazo. Ukusebenza kahle kwezingxoxo kuzokhula kakhulu uma ababambiqhaza bazo bechitha isikhathi esiningi esibekelwe ekulungiseleleni, futhi sincane ezingxoxweni ngokwabo.

Akungabazeki ukuthi ezimweni eziningi sisebenza ngaphansi kwezikhathi eziqinile. Amathiphu alandelayo okulungiselela izingxoxo acabangela lo mkhawulo. Lezi zincomo (ithebula lokulungiselela ngokushesha linikezwe kuSithasiselo esisekupheleni kwencwadi) lingaqedwa ngemizuzu eyishumi nanhlanu nje. Umthetho wesithupha uthi: umzuzu owodwa wokulungiselela umzuzu nomzuzu wokuhlangana nolunye uhlangothi.

Kodwa umuntu kufanele azilungiselele kanjani izingxoxo? Ezingxoxweni, njengasekuhambeni, into ebaluleke kakhulu ibalazwe elihle.

Ukuhlela indlela eya esivumelwaneni

Indlela eya esivumelwaneni esizuzisayo iphawulwe ngamaphuzu amahlanu abalulekile. Lezi izithakazelo, izinketho zokwanelisa lezi zintshisakalo, izindinganiso zokuxazulula okunobulungiswa kokungqubuzana, ezinye izindlela zezingxoxo neziphakamiso.

1. Izintshisekelo

Izingxoxo, njengomthetho, ziqala lapho isikhundla seqembu sishayisana nesolunye uhlangothi. Ekuhwebeni okuvamile, kwanele ukuthi unqume isikhundla sakho kusenesikhathi. Kodwa-ke, isixazululo esihlanganyelwe senkinga siphakamisa isikhalazo ezithakazelweni ezinquma izikhundla zazo zombili izinhlangothi. Umehluko phakathi kwale mibono ubaluleke kakhulu. Isikhundla siyisidingo esithile esivezwa ngamadola, amasenti, imigomo nemibandela. Izithakazelo ziyizisusa ezingabonakali ezikugqugquzela ukuthi uthathe isikhundla esithile, okungukuthi, izidingo, izifiso, izinkathazo, ukwesaba, kanye nezifiso. Ukuze wenze isivumelwano esinelisa zombili izinhlangothi, kufanele uqale uthole okuthakaselayo iqembu ngalinye.

Yisho okuthakaselayo. Uma ungayazi indawo oya kuyo, awusoze wafika lapho. Isibonelo, ake sithi uneklayenti eliphikayo eligcizelela inani lokuqala lezinsizakalo zakho. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, akazinaki izindleko zomsebenzi owengeziwe, isidingo esingenakubonwa kusengaphambili. Ezingxoxweni ezinjalo, isikhundla sakho singavezwa ngale ndlela: «Ngifuna ukukhulisa intengo ngamaphesenti angamashumi amathathu ukuze ngiphendule ngezindleko ezengeziwe. Intshisekelo yakho ekukhuphuleni intengo ingase ibe ukugcina inzuzo nokugcina ikhasimende lijabule. Ukuthola izithakazelo zakho kusiza umbuzo owodwa olula: ngani? Ngifunani lokhu? Iyiphi inkinga engizama ukuyixazulula?

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukusabalalisa izintshisekelo zakho ngokulandelana kokubaluleka. Kungenjalo, ungenza iphutha elivame kakhulu lokudela inzuzo ebalulekile ngento engabalulekile. Uma ubuhlobo neklayenti buthembisa inzuzo enkulu, khona-ke le nzalo inganikezwa kuqala kakhulu. Intshisekelo yokwenza inzuzo kule phrojekthi ingase iphele ngemuva, futhi okwesithathu ohlwini kuyoba isifiso sokungadali isibonelo somsebenzi owengeziwe wamahhala.

Thola okuthakaselwayo kolunye uhlangothi. Izingxoxo ziwumgwaqo onezindlela ezimbili. Ngokujwayelekile awukwazi ukwanelisa izintshisekelo zakho ngaphandle kokwanelisa izintshisekelo zolunye uhlangothi. Ngakho-ke, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda izithakazelo zabo - okubaluleke kakhulu kunezakho. Mhlawumbe iklayenti eliphikayo likhathazekile ngokuhlala ngaphakathi kwesabelomali futhi lifuna ukudunyiswa umphathi.

Ngikhumbula uMalume wami uMel eza ehhovisi lami e-Harvard Law School ohambeni lwakhe lweminyaka engamashumi amabili nanhlanu. Wangidonsela eceleni wayesethi, “Uyazi, Bill, kwangithatha iminyaka engamashumi amabili nanhlanu ukukhohlwa engakufunda eHarvard Law School. Ngoba lapha ngafundiswa ukuthi okuwukuphela kwento ebalulekile ekuphileni amaqiniso. Ubani olungile futhi ubani onephutha. Kwangithatha iminyaka engamashumi amabili nanhlanu ukubona ukuthi okubaluleke kakhulu, uma kungabalulekile kakhulu kunamaqiniso ngokwawo, yindlela abantu abawabheka ngayo amaqiniso. Uma ungakuqondi lokhu, awusoze wakwazi ukuvala izivumelwano noma ukuxazulula izingxabano.”

Into ebaluleke kakhulu kwezobuciko bokuxoxisana yikhono lokuzibeka endaweni yolunye uhlangothi. Uma uzama ukuguqula imibono yabo, kuzomele uqonde leyo mibono kuqala.

Kodwa ungathola kanjani ngezithakazelo zolunye uhlangothi? Zama ukuvele ubheke inkinga ngokombono wabo futhi uqonde ukuthi yini abayikhathalela kakhulu. Bese uzibuza: ingabe kunzima ukwenza ibhizinisi nabo nhlobo, noma ingabe lokhu ukuchezuka kwesikhashana kokujwayelekile? Yiziphi izehlakalo empilweni yabo yobungcweti noma yomuntu siqu okungenzeka zibe nomthelela endleleni ababheka ngayo wena? Ingabe banedumela lokuba ngabaxoxisi abathembekile nabangenzeleli? Uma isikhathi sivuma, ungaxoxa nabantu abasondelene nabo—nabangane, ofunda nabo, amaklayenti nalabo abangaphansi kwabo. Uma ufunda kabanzi mayelana nohlangothi oluphikisayo, ayanda amathuba okulithonya.

I-2. Izinketho

Injongo yokuhlonza izintshisekelo zazo zombili izinhlangothi ukunquma ukuthi izinketho ezingajwayelekile zingatholwa yini ukuze zihlangabezane nalezi zintshisekelo. Ukusungulwa kokukhethwa kukho okuzuzisanayo kuyithuba eliyinhloko lomxoxi. Abaxoxisanayo abaphumelelayo abagcini ngokusika uphaya wosayizi owaziwayo. Baqale babheke izindlela zokwandisa lophaya.

Akwenzeki ngaso sonke isikhathi ukugcina isikhundla somuntu, kodwa ngokuvamile kuyenzeka ukwanelisa izithakazelo zomuntu. Ngeke ukwazi ukukhulisa intengo ngamaphesenti angamashumi amathathu, kodwa ungakwazi ukuza nenketho ezokuvumela ukuthi uzuze kule phrojekthi futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo wanelise iklayenti. Kungenzeka yini ukushintsha omunye wemisebenzi eyengeziwe kubasebenzi beklayenti? Futhi uma unweba iphrojekthi onyakeni wezimali olandelayo, ukuze izindleko ezengeziwe zifakwe kusabelomali sonyaka olandelayo? Futhi kungenzeka yini ukunxephezela ukwehla kwenzuzo kule phrojekthi ngokungena esivumelwaneni ngenani elibalulekile lomsebenzi wesikhathi esizayo? Kodwa kuthiwani uma ungabonisa iklayenti ukuthi umsebenzi owengeziwe uzoholela ekongeni kwezindleko ezinkulu, ezinye zazo ezingasetshenziselwa ukukhokhela le misebenzi?

Iphutha elivame kakhulu ekuxoxisaneni ukungakwazi ukuhamba kude nesixazululo esisodwa, okungukuthi, indawo yokuqala. Ngokubona ubukhona bezinketho ezimbalwa, uvula indlela yamathuba amasha, okukodwa okungase kusebenze izintshisekelo zakho ngenkathi kwanelisa olunye uhlangothi.

Isithiyo esikhulu ekusunguleni izinketho ezintsha yizwi elincane elisekhanda lethu elilokhu liphindaphinda, “Lokhu ngeke kusebenze.” Izinto ezibalulekile zokucabanga njengokuhlaziya nokuhlola okubucayi zingathiba umcabango. Ngakho-ke, kungcono ukuhlukanisa le misebenzi. Gwema ukwahlulela imizuzu embalwa bese uzama ukuqhamuka nemibono eminingi ngangokunokwenzeka. Ungalahli lezo ezibonakala ziyinqaba ekuqaleni - khumbula ukuthi izinto eziningi ezinhle kakhulu eziqanjwe isintu zaqala ngemibono eyinqaba, yenqatshwa yiwo wonke umuntu. Ngokuhlanganisa izinketho eziningi ngangokunokwenzeka, uyakwazi ukuzihlaziya futhi uhlole ukuthi zikwazi kangakanani ukwanelisa izintshisekelo zakho kanye nezithakazelo zolunye uhlangothi.

3. Izindinganiso

Uma usuwandise uphaya, sekuyisikhathi sokucabanga ukuthi ungawuhlukanisa kanjani. Kodwa ningakhetha kanjani ngokuhlanganyela inketho efanelekile uma izithakazelo zenu zihluka kulokho okuthakaselayo kolunye uhlangothi? Iklayenti lifuna ukukhokha kancane ngangokunokwenzeka ngomsebenzi, futhi ungathanda ukuthola okwengeziwe. Ukuxazulula kanjani lokhu kuphikisana? Mhlawumbe indlela evame kakhulu ingxabano. Uhlangothi ngalunye luphikelela endaweni yalo, luzama ukuphoqa isitha ukuba sizinikele. Ubunzima bonke bulele ekutheni akekho ofuna ukuhoxa. Ingxabano mayelana nokufaneleka ikhula ngokushesha ibe ukungqubuzana kwezifiso. Umuntu ophoqelekile ukuba anikezele ukhumbula ukunqotshwa kwakhe futhi uzama ukuziphindiselela ngokuzayo - uma kukhona isikhathi esilandelayo nhlobo.

Abaxoxisanayo abaphumelelayo bagwema ukungqubuzana ngokuguqula inqubo yokukhetha ibe ukusesha okuhlanganyelwe kwesivumelwano esinobulungiswa nesizuzisa ngokufanayo. Asekelwe ezimisweni ezinobulungisa ngaphandle kwezifiso zezinhlangothi zombili. Izinga elizimele liwumugqa wokuthola isisombululo esifanele. Izindinganiso ezinjalo ezivamile ziyinani lemakethe, ukulingana, umthetho, noma indlela ingxabano yangaphambilini exazululwa ngayo.

Inzuzo enkulu yezindinganiso ukuthi zombili izinhlangothi ziyakwazi ukuvumelana kulokho okubhekwa njengobulungisa, kunokugcizelela ukuthi elinye iqembu livumela elinye iphuzu elithile. Kulula ngekhasimende ukuthi livumelane nezinga elifana nenani lemakethe kunokukhokha imali ngenxa nje yokuthi uyikhokhisile.

Ngalesi sizathu, kufanele ucabange kusengaphambili ukuthi yimaphi amazinga okungabhekiselwa kuwo enqubweni yokuxoxisana. Ukulungiselela ikhaya kufanele kuhlanganise nokuhlaziywa kwamanani emakethe, imibandela yesayensi, izindleko, izindinganiso zobuchwepheshe, nezandulela. Zihlomise ngezimpikiswano ukuze ukholise.

4. Ezinye izindlela

Ezikhathini eziningi, abantu bangena ezingxoxweni ngenhloso yokuthola abakufunayo futhi baqale ukucabangela ezinye izindlela ngemva kokubhekana nobunzima obukhulu. Leli iphutha lakudala. Ulwazi ngezinye izindlela lunganquma impumelelo ekuhlangabezaneni nezintshisekelo zakho.

Umgomo wezingxoxo akufanele ube isivumelwano. Iqiniso liwukuthi isivumelwano simane nje siyindlela yokwanelisa izithakazelo. Inhloso yokuxoxisana ukuthola ukuthi yini ebaluleke kakhulu kuwe: isivumelwano noma enye indlela engcono kakhulu yesivumelwano okuxoxiswane ngaso (BAT).

I-NAOS ingenye indlela lapho uphuma emdlalweni. Lena inkambo enengqondo kunazo zonke uma singekho isivumelwano. Uma uxoxisana nomphathi wakho mayelana nokukhushulelwa iholo, khona-ke enye indlela engcono kakhulu ongayenza kungaba ukusebenzela enye ifemu. Uma uxoxisana nomthengisi, ukukhuluma nomphathi womnyango noma ukusebenzisa izinsiza zesinye isitolo kungabhekwa njenge-BAT. Esimeni lapho imibuso emibili iphikisana ngemibandela yohwebo, inkantolo yamazwe ngamazwe ingase ibe enye indlela engcono kakhulu. Njengomthetho, ukuya ku-NAOS kuholela ezindlekweni ezengeziwe futhi kubi kakhulu ubuhlobo - yingakho uxoxisana, uzama ukuthola isisombululo esingcono kakhulu senkinga.

I-NAOS inquma amandla omxoxi ngamunye. Amandla akho njengomxoxi awanqunywa ngokuba mkhulu, mdala, noma ukuceba kunolunye uhlangothi, kodwa ngekhwalithi yokukhetha okungcono kakhulu kwesixazululo okuxoxiswana ngaso. I-NAOS esebenzayo ikunikeza amandla okufinyelela umgomo wakho. I-NAOS engcono kakhulu, uqina nakakhulu.

Chaza i-NAOS yakho. Enye indlela engcono kakhulu yesixazululo okuxoxiswana ngaso kufanele kube umugqa lapho ufinyelela khona isivumelwano esingase sibe khona. Kunezinhlobo ezintathu zezinye izindlela okufanele uzicabangele lapho uklama i-NEA.

Okokuqala, yini ongayenza ukuze wanelise izithakazelo zakho? Okunye ongakwenza uma uphuma kugeyimu kungase kube ukubheka omunye umphakeli (noma elinye ikhasimende uma ungumthengisi).

Okwesibili, ungaluthonya kanjani olunye uhlangothi ukuze ubenze bahloniphe izithakazelo zakho? Lezo zindlela «ezisebenzisanayo» zihlanganisa, isibonelo, isiteleka kanye nempi. Futhi okwesithathu, indlela yokubeka olunye uhlangothi esimweni lapho kuzothuthukisa izithakazelo zakho? Okunye okubandakanya "umuntu wesithathu" kungase kuhilele ukuya kumlamuli, ukulamula noma inkantolo. Ngemva kokusungula ezinye izinketho ezimbalwa, khetha phakathi kwazo leyo evumelana nezintshisekelo zakho.

Njalo gcina i-NAOS inawe. Ngaphansi kwengcindezi enkulu nasonqenqemeni lokwethuka, ungakwazi ukumbambatha iphakethe lakho bese uthi, “Kulungile noma le nto ingahambi kahle.”

Yakha i-NAOS yakho. Njengomthetho, i-NAOS ayiveli efomini elenziwe ngomumo - idinga ukuthuthukiswa. Uma enye indlela ingeyinhle kakhulu, kufanele kuthathwe izinyathelo zokuyithuthukisa. Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, ukucinga kwesinye isikhundla ebhizinisini elifanayo akufanele kuthathwe njenge-NAOS. Kungcono ukwenza umzamo futhi ushintshe ngempela imisebenzi. Uma uthengisa indlu, ungangabazi ukuyibonisa ngemva kokuba umuntu oyedwa ebonise isithakazelo esingathi sína; bheka abanye abangaba abathengi. Uma inkampani yakho isengcupheni yokuthathwa i-raider, zama ukuthola abathengi abanobungane noma ucabange ukuthatha imali mboleko ukuze ubuyisele amasheya, wenze inkampani ibe yimfihlo.

Nquma ukuthi udinga ukuxoxisana yini. Ngemva kokwenza enye indlela engcono kakhulu yesivumelwano okuxoxwa ngaso, kufanele uzibuze umbuzo: "Ingabe kuyadingeka ukungena ezingxoxweni nhlobo?" Wake wazibuza ukuthi kungani abanye abantu bengayeki ukuzama ukuxoxisana nomphathi oyindlovukazi ekubeni kufanele ngabe kade bayeka? Noma kungani abazali abaphelelwe yithemba beqhubeka bezikholelwa izithembiso zentsha ekhathazekile, ngayinye ephulwa ngokushesha njengaleyo yokugcina? Umkhuba, amahloni, ukuba necala nokwesaba konke kuyafaka isandla, kodwa isizathu esikhulu ukuthi isisebenzi noma abazali bakhohlwe ngenye indlela engcono kakhulu yesixazululo okuxoxwa ngaso. Ukube bebecabange nge-NAOS, bebengase bathole indlela engcono yokusebenzela izithakazelo zabo ngaphandle kokuxoxisana nesitha esinobuqili nesingenaluzwela.

Kungenzeka ukuthi i-NAOS yakho ingcono kunanoma yisiphi isivumelwano ongayiphetha nalo muntu. Khumbula futhi ukuthi inqubo yokuxoxisana ngokwayo idinga izindleko ezithile. Kungathatha isikhathi esiningi nomzamo, futhi ngenxa yalokho, kuzodingeka ulahle zonke ezinye izinketho. Ngakho-ke, isinqumo sokuqala izingxoxo kufanele sikalwe ngokucophelela.

Ungakhohlwa ubungozi bokweqisa izinga le-NEA yakho. Izikhulu eziningi zezinkampani, ezilalele izeluleko zabameli abazethembayo, zenqaba ukuxoxisana zaya enkantolo, zabe sezizithola sezisengozini yokuwa kwezimali. Njengomphumela wanoma yikuphi ukumangalelwa, isiteleka noma impi, omunye wamaqembu alwayo - futhi ngezinye izikhathi kokubili - uthola ukuthi i-NAOS yayo ayilungile njengoba babecabanga. Uma wazi kusengaphambili ukuthi okunye akukhangi kakhulu, yenza yonke imizamo ukuze ufinyelele isivumelwano.

Nquma i-NAOS yeqembu eliphikisayo. Ukwazi enye indlela engcono kakhulu yolunye uhlangothi kungabaluleka njengokuzakhela eyakho. I-NAOS. Lokhu kukunikeza umbono wenselele ephambi kwakho: ukwenza isivumelwano esidlula enye indlela yabo engcono kakhulu. Lolu lwazi luzokusiza ukuthi ugweme umgodi ophindwe kabili wokulinganisa ngokweqile noma ukubukela phansi i-NAT yeqembu eliphikisayo. Kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukuthi i-NAOS yakho ibuthakathaka, kodwa i-NAOS yeqembu eliphikisayo ingase ibe buthakathaka. Abathengisi abaningi kanye nabeluleki bayaqiniseka ukuthi amakhasimende abo ayakwazi ukuphambuka ngokushesha kubancintisana nabo. Ngokuvamile azimeli izindleko zangempela zokushintsha abahlinzeki. Ukuhlolwa okuhlosiwe kokunye okungcono kakhulu kwamakhasimende abo kuzonikeza abathengisi ukuzethemba ezingxoxweni ezinzima.

Uma i-NAOS yohlangothi oluphikisayo ihilela ukusetshenziswa kwamandla, khona-ke unethuba lokuzilungiselela kusengaphambili ukungqubuzana. Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, uma inkampani yakho isongelwa i-raider, ungashintsha i-charter yenkampani ukwenza kube nzima kakhulu ekuthathweni okunonya. Cabanga ukuthi ungawunciphisa kanjani umphumela wezenzo zesitha ezinobutha.

5. Izipesheli

Ukucatshangelwa kwezithakazelo nokuhlaziywa kwezinketho kuvula indlela yesixazululo sokudala senkinga. Ukwamukelwa kwamazinga anobulungiswa kanye nokuthuthukiswa kwezinye izindlela kusiza ekukhetheni inketho efanelekile, ezoba isisekelo sesiphakamiso sesivumelwano esingaba khona.

Ukuze wakhe ukunikezwa okuphusile, kufanele ukhethe inketho evumelana nezintshisekelo zakho kangcono kune-NAOS. Le nketho kufanele futhi inikeze izithakazelo zeqembu eliphikisayo kangcono kune-NAOS yabo, futhi kufanele isekelwe kumazinga afanelekile noma nini lapho kunokwenzeka. Isiphakamiso siyahluka enguqulweni evamile ngokuphelela: isiphakamiso siyisivumelwano esingaba khona osulungele ukusivuma.

Yiqiniso, iziphakamiso ezimbalwa zingahlangabezana nalesi simiso ngesikhathi esisodwa. Ngakho-ke, kuyasiza ukukhumbula izinketho ezintathu zesivumelwano.

Uphokopheleni? Abaningi bethu banomkhuba wokuzibekela imigomo elula ukuze sigweme "ukwehluleka". Ngeshwa, izimfuno eziphansi zivame ukuzifeza. Olunye uhlangothi ngokuvamile ngeke lukunike lokho ongakuceli. Ngakho-ke, akumangazi ukuthi labo abaqala ngezicelo eziphezulu, kodwa ezingokoqobo, bathola isivumelwano esingcono. Kodwa kusho ukuthini "real"? Imingcele yeqiniso inqunywa ubulungiswa kanye nendlela engcono kakhulu yolunye uhlangothi. Zibekele imigomo ephezulu.

  • Qala ngokubuza, “Yisiphi isivumelwano engisifunayo? Yini ezokwanelisa izithakazelo zami futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo isuse ukukhathazeka okuyinhloko kolunye uhlangothi - ukuze kube nethuba lokuthola isivumelwano sabo?

Yini ozimisele ukuyivuma? Ngokuvamile, ukuthola konke okufunayo akwenzeki. Ngakho-ke, kuyasiza ukuzibuza umbuzo wesibili: "Isiphi isivumelwano, ngisho noma sikude kakhulu, esiyokwanelisa izithakazelo zami eziyinhloko ukuze ngivumelane naso?"

Uzobekezelelani? Isiphakamiso sesithathu kufanele sisekelwe kuphela ekuhlolweni kwe-NEA uqobo: “Isiphi isivumelwano esizokwanelisa izithakazelo zami kangcono nje kancane kunenye indlela engcono kakhulu yesixazululo okuxoxwa ngaso? Isiphi isivumelwano engizosamukela, nakuba ngobunzima? Uma ungakwazi ukufinyelela ngisho nesivumelwano esinjalo, kuhle ucabange ukushiya itafula lezingxoxo bese uphendukela kokunye. Lolu khetho ludlala indima «kocingo locingo», likukhumbuza ngezingozi zokwamukela isivumelwano esibi kakhulu kune-NEA.

Cabanga ngalezi zinhlobo ezintathu zeziphakamiso hhayi njengezikhundla eziqinile, kodwa njengemifanekiso ephathekayo yezinketho ezahlukene zokwanelisa izintshisekelo zakho. Ngeke wazi kusenesikhathi ukuthi iqembu eliphikisayo lizovuma yini iziphakamiso zakho. Ukwengeza, ohlelweni lwezingxoxo, kuvame ukuba nesixazululo esifanelana kangcono nezithakazelo zakho - kanye nezithakazelo zolunye uhlangothi.

Ukuphindaphinda

Ukulungiselela izingxoxo kungenziwa kube lula ngokuxoxa ngakho nomunye umuntu. Umuntu wangaphandle uzobazisa ngokubukeka okusha; ingaletha imibono emisha; kukwenza unake amaphuzu angabazekayo okungenzeka awuzange uwaqaphele; futhi, ekugcineni, ukukunikeza ukwesekwa kokuziphatha. Ngakho-ke, kuwufanele ukucabanga ngokuprakthiza izingxoxo nozakwenu noma umngane. Inzuzo eyengeziwe yale nqubo ukuthi kulokhu amalungiselelo ezingxoxo ngeke agweme.

Ngesikhathi sokuzilolonga, beka konke ozokusho eqenjini eliphikisayo, kanye nezimpendulo zakho eziphakamisweni zabo. Phela abameli baqeqeshelwa izinkulumo emacaleni anzima, osopolitiki baprakthiza izingxoxo nabezindaba, abaphathi bezinkampani baqeqeshela izinkulumo kubanikazi bamasheya — kungani ningalungiseleli izingxoxo ezinzima? Kungcono ukwenza amaphutha ekuziqeqesheni nomngane noma osebenza naye kunasezingxoxweni zangempela.

Cela ozakwenu ukuthi adlale indima yombangi futhi ahlole amandla akho okukholisa, ikhono lakho lokugxila ezintweni ozithakaselayo, ongakhetha kuzo, kanye namazinga. Uma usuqedile, buza ozakwenu ukuthi yini esebenzile nengasebenzanga. Kunjani ukuba yimbangi yakho? Yini okufanele uyishintshe ezenzweni zakho? Bese uzama futhi uze ukuthole kahle. Uma ungamtholi ozakwenu noma umngani ozodlala isitha, zama ukubhala phansi yonke into ozoyisho futhi uzilolonge nawe.

Zama ukuwabona kusengaphambili amaqhinga olunye uhlangothi futhi ucabange kusengaphambili ukuthi uzosabela kanjani kuwo. Ngokwenza lokhu, uzonciphisa amathuba okuthi uzothathwa ungalindele. Ngeke udideke futhi uyokwazi ukuzitshela ukuthi: “Ashila! Ngangazi ukuthi lapha ibheke khona,” bese nginikeza impendulo elungiselelwe. Lokhu ukubaluleka kokulungiselela.

Ilungiselela ukuzulazula

Ngokufanelekile, izingxoxo ziyaqhubeka njengoba ushilo ohlelweni lokulungiselela. Uqala ngokubheka izithakazelo, uzama ukuthola ukuthi uhlangothi ngalunye lufunani ngempela. Bese nixoxa ngezinketho ezihlukahlukene, nifuna izindlela zokuhlangabezana nezintshisakalo zazo zombili izinhlangothi. Ucubungula izindinganiso ezihlukahlukene zesivumelwano esilungile ukuze uqede ukuphikisana. Futhi ekugcineni, nishintshana ngeziphakamiso, nizama ukufinyelela isivumelwano esizuzisayo esingcono kuzo zombili izinhlangothi kunokuphendukela kweyakho i-NAOS.

Kodwa-ke, emhlabeni wangempela, imizamo yakho yokubandakanya umphikisi wakho ohlelweni oluhlanganyelwe lokuxazulula izinkinga ihlangabezwana nokusabela okuqinile, imizwa enobutha, izikhundla eziqinile, ukunganeliseki okunamandla kanye nengcindezi enolaka. Umsebenzi wakho ukushintsha igeyimu futhi usuke ekubhekaneni uye ekuxazululeni izinkinga ezihlanganyelwe, uguqule isitha sakho sibe uzakwethu oxoxisanayo. Manje njengoba usunemephu enhle enomzila oya emgomweni wakho, udinga ukusebenzisa isu lokuphumelela ukunqoba izithiyo ezivimbe indlela yakho. Izahluko ezinhlanu ezilandelayo zinikelwe ekulungiseleleni ukuzulazula.

II. Ukusebenzisa Isu Lokuphumelela

1. Ungaphenduli

Khuphukela kuvulandi

Khuluma uma ucasukile uzokwethula inkulumo ephusile oyozisola ngayo impilo yakho yonke.
I-Ambrose Beers

Uma ubhekisisa indlela abantu abakhuluma ngayo, uzothola izibonelo ezingenakubalwa zokusabela ngokungacabangi emazwini omuntu okhuluma naye. Ngeshwa, izingxoxo eziningi zihamba ngale ndlela:

UMYENI (ecabanga ukuthi ugxile enkingeni): Sthandwa, kukhona okumele sikwenze ngendlu. Indlu yezingulube yangempela.

UMKAZI (ekuthatha njengokuhlasela komuntu siqu): Awufuni nokuphakamisa umunwe wena! Awukwenzi ngisho lokho okuthembisile. Izolo ebusuku…

UMYENI (ephazamisa): Ngiyazi. Ngiyazi. Nje...

UMKAZI (engalaleli): …uthembise ukukhipha udoti. Futhi ekuseni kwadingeka ngizithwalele mina.

UMYENI (ezama ukubuyela enkingeni): Ungamane umile. Bengifuna ukusho ukuthi sobabili...

UNKOSIKAZI (engalaleli): Futhi kwase kuyithuba lakho lokuyisa izingane esikoleni.

UMYENI (ecasukile): Lalela! Ngachaza ukuthi nginesidlo sasekuseni sebhizinisi.

UMKAZI (ememeza): Ngakho isikhathi sakho sibaluleke ukwedlula esami? Nami ngiyasebenza! Ngikhathele ukuhlala eceleni ngaso sonke isikhathi!

UMYENI (ephenduka ekhala): Thulani! Futhi ubani okhokha izikweletu eziningi?

Enqubweni yalokhu kuphikisana, akukho izithakazelo zomyeni, ofuna ukubona ukuhleleka endlini, noma izithakazelo zomfazi, ofuna usizo olwengeziwe ngomsebenzi wasendlini, anelisekile. Kodwa lokho akubavimbi abashadikazi. Isenzo sidala ukusabela, ukusabela kubangela ukusabela, futhi impikiswano iyaqhubeka. Ngokwesimo esifanayo, ingxabano phakathi kozakwethu bebhizinisi iqala ngokuthi ubani ozohlala ehhovisi ekupheleni kwephaseji, kanye nengxabano phakathi kwenyunyana nabaphathi mayelana nemibandela yesivumelwano sabasebenzi, noma ukungqubuzana kwezindawo phakathi amaqembu ezizwe.

Ukusabela kwemvelo okuthathu

Abantu bayimishini esabelayo. Esimweni esinzima, ngokwemvelo sisabela ngokuguquguqukayo, okungukuthi, ngaphandle kokucabanga. Nazi izinhlobo ezintathu ezivame kakhulu zokusabela.

  • shaya emuva. Uma ubhekene nokuhlasela okuvela ohlangothini oluqhudelana naye, uvele ugijimele ukuyohlasela, uphindisele emuva. - ngokomgomo othi "njengoba ifika, ngakho izophendula." Uma izimbangi zakho zithatha isikhundla esinzima nesidlulele, nawe wenza okufanayo ncamashi.

Kwesinye isikhathi impendulo enjalo ikhombisa abaphikisi bakho ukuthi ungadlala ngokulinganayo futhi ubamise. Kodwa kaningi, isu elinjalo liholela ekubhekaneni okuyize nokubizayo. Ngokusabela kwakho, uthethelela ukuziphatha okungenangqondo komphikisi wakho. Uyacabanga, “Bengicabanga ukuthi ufuna ukungithola. Nabu ubufakazi.” Lokhu kuvame ukulandelwa ukwanda kwezingxabano - ukuxabana, ingcindezi yezinkampani, izinyathelo zomthetho, noma impi.

Thatha, isibonelo, omunye wabaholi benkampani esungule uhlelo olusha lolwazi lokukhiqiza. Ukuqaliswa kwalolu hlelo kudinga imvume yabaqondisi bamabhizinisi ezweni lonke. Imvume enjalo yanikezwa yibo bonke abaholi, ngaphandle komqondisi wefekthri enkulu kunazo zonke eDallas, owathi: “Angifuni abantu benu bafake ikhala labo ezindabeni zami. Kuzomele ngiziphendulele kukho konke okwenzeka lapha. Ngingakwazi ukuphatha ngaphandle kwakho." Ecasulwe ukwenqaba, umthuthukisi wesistimu wasabisa ngokukhononda kumongameli wenkampani, kodwa lokhu kwamane kwamthukuthelisa nakakhulu umqondisi. Umphumela: isikhalazo kumongameli wenkampani sibe nomthelela ophambene, okukhombisa ukuthi umthuthukisi wesistimu yolwazi akakwazi ukuthola ulimi olujwayelekile nozakwabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umongameli wenqaba ukungenelela kule ngxabano, futhi uhlelo olusha lolwazi lwahlala luwumsebenzi.

Ngokubuyisela emuva, akunakwenzeka ukuthi uzuze ukwaneliseka kwezithakazelo ezithile, futhi ubudlelwano besikhathi eside bungalimala. Uma unqoba impi, uzolahlekelwa yimpi.

Obunye ubunzima ukuthi abantu abasebenzisa amandla bajwayele ukwazi abakwenzayo. Kungenzeka ukuthi nje bathembele ekuhlaselweni okuziphindiselelayo. Ngokuvumela ukucasulwa, uqala ukudlala umdlalo wabo ngemithetho yabo.

  • Nikela kuyo. Ukusabela okuphambene nokuziphindiselela ukuvumela. Olunye uhlangothi lungase likubeke esimweni esinzima kangangokuthi uzovuma, uma nje ukuqeda indaba ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Ukufaka ingcindezi, ekusola ngokuvimba isivumelwano. Ingabe ufuna ukuba nesibopho sokuziphendulela ngezingxoxo ezithatha isikhathi eside, ubudlelwano obonakele, kanye nethuba eliphuthwe kanye empilweni? Akungcono yini ukumane uvumelane nabaphikisi?

Abantu abaningi benza izivumelwano bese beshaya amabunzi abo ngakusasa ekuseni, bebabaza ngokuphelelwa yithemba, “Bengingaba yini isiphukuphuku esingaka? Ngivume ini? Abaningi bethu basayina izinkontileka - isibonelo, lapho bethenga imoto - ngaphandle kokufunda amanothi abhalwe ngamagama amancane. Kungani? Ngenxa yokuthi umthengisi uphezu kwemicabango yethu, izingane zifuna ukufika ekhaya ngemoto entsha, futhi sisaba ukuthi sizobukeka siyiziphukuphuku sibuza imibuzo mayelana nenkontileka esingeke sikwazi ukuyithola.

Imvume ngokuvamile iholela kumphumela ongagculisi. Usale nomuzwa ongemnandi wokuthi "uqonyiwe". Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokwenza lokhu uthethelela ukungaziphathi kahle kohlangothi oluphikisayo futhi uthole idumela njengomuntu obuthakathaka, okubili abaphikisi bakho bamanje nabazayo abangeke bahluleke ukusizakala. Ngendlela efanayo naleyo yokunethezeka kwezingane kuqinisa ukuziphatha okunjalo kwengane, ukuvumela umuntu onolaka kubangela ukuqhuma kolaka esikhathini esizayo. Mhlawumbe uhlamvu olubi lomphathi noma iklayenti lubonakala lungalawuleki ngokuphelele kuwe, kodwa akunjalo - umlingisi angalawulwa. Mancane amathuba okuthi benze amahlazo afanayo kubaphathi babo.

Ngezinye izikhathi siyalahleka futhi siqale ukujabulisa umuntu ongalawuleki, siziduduze ngenkohliso yokuthi ukuvunyelwa kuzosiza ukumsusa unomphela, futhi ngeke sisabhekana naye. Nokho, ngokuvamile abantu abanjalo bayabuya, befuna ukuvunyelwa okusha. Phela ukuthula kunesici esibi. Akusizi ukuthemba ukuthi ngokupha inyama yengwe uzoyenza ibe yimifino.

  • Ukunqamula ubudlelwano. Indlela yesithathu yokusabela okungokwemvelo iwukunqamula ubuhlobo nomuntu noma izinkampani okunzima ukubhekana nazo. Sihlukanisa nabalingani bethu, siyeka imisebenzi yethu, noma sishiye umsebenzi ohlanganyelwe.

Kwesinye isikhathi lelisu liyakhokha. Kuyenzeka ukuthi kungcono ukugqashula ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu noma bebhizinisi kunokuba ululazeke noma ungene ezingxabanweni ezingapheli. Kwezinye izimo, igebe lisiza ukubeka umphikisi endaweni, futhi uqala ukuziphatha ngokuhlakanipha.

Nokho, kokubili izindleko ezibonakalayo nezingokomzwelo zegebe ziphezulu kakhulu. Lokhu ukulahlekelwa iklayenti, ukuwa komsebenzi noma ukuhlukana komndeni. Ngokuvamile, ukuhlukana kobudlelwane kuwumphumela wokujaha, esizisola ngakho kamuva. Ngamunye wethu unabajwayelene nabo, abadunyazwe umphathi noma umlingani womshado, basheshe bahlukane nobudlelwano ngaphandle kokuzinika ithuba lokubuthuthukisa. Ngokuvamile bahumusha kabi ukuziphatha komphikisi futhi abazami ukufinyelela ukuqonda. Umkhuba wokuqeda ubudlelwano uholela ekumeni - awusoze wazuza lutho, futhi kufanele uqale phansi.

Ingozi yokusabela okungokwemvelo

Ngokusabela okungokwemvelo, sikhohlwa ngezithakazelo zethu. Cabanga ngempendulo yePentagon enkingeni yokuthunjwa kwe-Iran yango-1979-1981.

Ngemva nje kokuthunjwa, intatheli yabuza isikhulu sePentagon ukuthi yiluphi usizo olunganikezwa amasosha ukuze abakhulule. Lesi sikhulu saphendula ngokuthi noma yisiphi isenzo sizobeka ukuphila kwezakhamuzi zaseMelika engozini. I-Pentagon, waqhubeka, ithuthukisa izinyathelo ezinzima okufanele zithathwe ngemuva kokukhululwa kwabathunjwa. Kodwa ukucabanga kwakhe akunangqondo. Kungani abafundi base-Iranian bengakhulula abathunjwa uma bazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi kuzolandela impindiselo evela e-United States? IPentagon yenza iphutha elivame kakhulu ngokudida ukuziphindiselela ngemiphumela.

Ngokuvamile uhlangothi oluphambene luthembele ekuphenduleni kwakho okungokwemvelo. Isisulu sokuqala sokuhlaselwa umgomo wakho - ikhwalithi ebalulekile yezingxoxo eziphumelelayo. Abamelene nawe bazama ukukudida futhi bakuphuce ikhono lokucabanga ngokucacile nangendlela ephusile. Bafuna ukukudla njengenhlanzi futhi bakwenze wenze abakuthandayo. Kuyafaneleka ukunqotshwa imizwelo - futhi usohambweni.

Amandla ohlangothini oluphikisayo ancike kakhulu ekhonweni lokuvusa ukusabela okungokwemvelo kuwe. Wake wazibuza ukuthi kungani iqembu elincane lamaphekula eMpumalanga Ephakathi likwazi ukuheha ukunaka komhlaba wonke futhi liphuce umholi wamandla anamandla kakhulu emhlabeni wokulala? Ukwenza lokhu, kwanele ukubamba umMelika ohamba emgwaqeni. Abathumbi ngokwabo abanawo amandla abalulekile - ukusabela komphakathi waseMelika okubenza babe namandla.

Ngisho uma ukusabela okungokwemvelo kungakubangeli ukuthi wenze iphutha elibi, umphumela uba umjikelezo wesenzo sokusabela esiphikisayo. Buza unkosikazi ukuthi kungani ethethisa umyeni wakhe futhi uzozwa impendulo: "Ngoba ungithethisa." Buza umbuzo ofanayo kumyeni wakho, futhi uzosho into efanayo: "Ngoba uyangithethisa." Ukusabela okungokwemvelo kwandisa inkinga kuphela. Kuthatha ababili ukuxabana, njenge-tango.

Khuphukela kuvulandi

Uma uzonda ukuzwa ukuthi ubamba iqhaza ekuthuthukisweni komjikelezo ononya wesenzo nokuphendula, ngiyashesha ukukuqinisekisa - ungawuphula lo mjikelezo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, futhi unilaterally. Kanjani? Ungaphenduli. Kusukela ekuqaleni kwe-physics, siyazi ukuthi "kuzo zonke izenzo kukhona ukusabela okulinganayo nokuphambene." Nokho, lo mthetho kaNewton usebenza kuphela ezintweni ezingaphili, hhayi emqondweni womuntu. Izinto ziyasabela. Umuntu uyakwazi ukuvimbela ukusabela.

Indaba ka-O. Henry, "Induna Ye-Redskins," iwumfanekiso ocacile wokuvinjelwa kwamandla kungaba. Abazali, indodana yabo eyathunjwa, abasabelanga nganoma iyiphi indlela kulokho okwakufunwa abathumbi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi lo mfana waphenduka umthwalo ezigebengwini, zase zikulungele ukukhokhela abazali bazo ukuze bathathe ingane. Indaba yembula umdlalo ongokwengqondo, onqunywa ukusabela komuntu. Benqanda ukusabela okungokwemvelo, abazali bachitha amacebo ezigebengu.

Uma ususesimweni esinzima, udinga ukuhlehla, uqoqe imicabango yakho futhi uhlole isimo sezindaba ngokufanele. Cabanga nje ukuthi izingxoxo zenzeka enkundleni yemidlalo yaseshashalazini, futhi ukhuphukela kuvulandi olenga phezu kwesiteji. "I-Balcony" isingathekiso sokuhlukaniswa kwengqondo. Kusukela ekuphakameni kwe-balcony, ungakwazi ukuhlaziya ngokuthula ukungqubuzana, cishe njengombukeli wangaphandle. Ungakwazi ukubeka phambili iziphakamiso ezakhayo egameni lezinhlangothi zombili futhi ufune isisombululo esanelisayo sengxabano.

Emdwebeni wasendulo wamaJapane wobuciko benkemba, abafundi bakhuthazwa ukuba babheke abamelene nabo njengokungathi bayintaba ekude. I-samurai enkulu uMusashi wayibiza ngokuthi "ukubuka kude ezintweni eziseduze." Le ncazelo isebenza ngokugcwele ekubukeni okuvela kuvulandi.

Ukukhuphukela kuvulandi kusho ukuziqhelelanisa nemibono nemizwa yemvelo.

Mayelana nalokhu, isibonelo sikaJanet Jenkins, owangena esivumelwaneni sezigidi zamaRandi ukuze adayisele izinhlelo zethelevishini kunethiwekhi yamakhebula, siyinkomba. Ngemva kwehora kuqale umzuliswano wokugcina wezingxoxo nommeleli wenethiwekhi yamakhebula, inhloko yenkampani yangena ehhovisi. Wagxeka umkhiqizo kaJanet, wangabaza ubuqotho bakhe, futhi wafuna izinguquko ezinkulu emigomeni yenkontileka. Kodwa-ke, uJanet wakwazi ukunqanda imizwa yakhe futhi ngokwengqondo "akhuphukele kuvulandi". Waqaphela ukuthi ngokuzivikela noma ngokuhlasela, wayemane ewufaka uphethiloli emlilweni futhi wayengeke asondele esivumelwaneni. Ngakho wavele wavumela inhloko yenkampani ukuthi ikhulume. Ngemva kokuqeda inkulumo yakhe ethukuthele futhi ehamba, uJanet waxolisa umzuzu owodwa - ngokusobala efuna ukushaya ucingo, kodwa empeleni ukuze ehlise umoya.

Lapho ebuyela etafuleni lezingxoxo, omele inethiwekhi yamakhebula wambheka futhi wambuza: "Manje, sibuyele lapho sigcine khona?" Ngamanye amazwi, wayemazisa, “Unganaki okushiwo umphathi. Wavele wadedela umoya. Asibuyele ebhizinisini.» Ukube uJanet akakwazanga ukuzibamba, izingxoxo bezizoya kude. Kodwa "wakhuphukela kuvulandi" futhi wakwazi ukuphetha ngokuthula izingxoxo, wenza isivumelwano.

Kufanele «ukhuphukele kuvulandi» ngaphambi kokuba izingxoxo ziqale - njengendlela yokulungiselela. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuyadingeka ngesikhathi sokuqala "ukukhuphukela kuvulandi" ohlelweni lokuxoxisana. Ukuziphatha kolunye uhlangothi kuzohlale kukubangela ukuba uzizwe ukhululekile. Kodwa akufanele ukhohlwe okwesikhashana umgomo wokugcina.

Umgomo wakho isivumelwano esifanela izintshisekelo zakho kangcono kunokukhethwa okungcono kakhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, isivumelwano kufanele futhi senelise izintshisekelo zeqembu eliphikisayo. Uma usunomgomo, udinga ukugxila ekuwufinyeleleni. Akulula. Uma uthukuthele noma uvaleleke ekhoneni, ufuna ukuthethisa omelene nawe. Ukucindezeleka nokwesaba kubangela isifiso sokuyeka nokushiya. Ungabhekana kanjani nokusabela kwakho kwemvelo?

Yisho igeyimu

Isikhathi esiningi ugxila kakhulu kulokho okwenzekayo kangangokuthi awukwazi ukusabela kwakho. Ngakho-ke, umsebenzi wakho wokuqala ukuqonda amaqhinga ohlangothini oluphambene. Okhokho bethu abakude babekholelwa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuqeda umoya omubi ngokuwubiza ngamagama. Okufanayo kuyasebenza nakumaqhinga angathembekile - wabone futhi azolahlekelwa amandla awo.

Izinhlobo ezintathu zamaqhinga

Amaqhinga maningi, kodwa wonke angahlukaniswa ngezigaba ezintathu: okubambayo, okunolaka, nokudukisayo.

  • Ukuvinjelwa. Amaqhinga okuvimbela ukwenqatshwa kwanoma yikuphi ukuvunyelwa. Iqembu eliphikisayo lingase likuqinisekise ukuthi alinandawo yokuhlehla nokuthi okuwukuphela kwalo ukukhetha ukuma kwalo. Ukuvinjelwa kungase kufane ne-fait accompli: “Okwenziwe kuyenziwa. Akukho okungashintshwa.» Ngezinye izikhathi iqembu eliphikisayo libhekisela kumgomo wenkampani: “Angikwazi ukukusiza. Kuyinqubomgomo yenkampani.» Kungenzeka futhi ukunxusa izibopho zangaphambilini: «Ngathembisa ukuyeka isikhundla senhloko yenyunyana uma ngingakutholi ukukhushulwa kwamaphesenti ayisishiyagalombili. Olunye uhlangothi lungasebenzisa ukubambezeleka okungapheli: "Sizoxhumana nawe." Noma uzozwa isitatimende sohlelo: “Njengoba ufisa. Ngeke uvume." Bayenqaba noma yimuphi omunye umnikelo.
  • Ukuhlasela. Ukuhlasela kuwumkhuba onolaka oklanyelwe ukukwesabisa uze uvumelane nemigomo yomphikisi wakho. Mhlawumbe uhlobo oluvame kakhulu lokuhlasela usongo lwemiphumela uma ungakwamukeli lokho abakunikezayo: “Vuma, noma…” Olunye uhlangothi lungase lugxeke ukunikezwa kwakho (“Izinombolo zakho azihlanganisi!”), Amakhono akho (“ Umusha kulesi sikhundla, akunjalo?”), isimo negunya lakho (“Sifuna ukukhuluma nalowo owenza izinqumo ngempela!”). Umhlukumezi uzokuhlambalaza, akugcone futhi akucasule aze athole indlela yakhe.
  • Amaqhinga. I-Subterfuge iyisu eliklanyelwe ukuthola izivumelwano ngezindlela zokukhwabanisa. Kulokhu, olunye uhlangothi lisebenzisa ukwethemba kwakho - ubheka abaphikisi bethembekile futhi baqotho. Elinye lala maqhinga ukukhohlisa kwedatha, okungukuthi, ukusetshenziswa kwezinombolo zomgunyathi, ezikhuphukile noma ezingahambisani. Elinye iqhinga elithi «ukuntuleka kwegunya», lapho umphikisi ezama ukukukholisa ukuthi unegunya elifanele, futhi ngemva kokuthola imvume kuwe, uthi othile wenza izinqumo. Elinye iqhinga libizwa ngokuthi «izengezo», lapho olunye uhlangothi lwenza izimfuno ezengeziwe ngemva kokukuqinisekisa ukuthi isivumelwano sifinyelelwe.

Qaphela Amaqhinga

Ukuze umelane ngempumelelo namaqhinga ombangi wakho, udinga ukuwabona.. Uma uqonda ukuthi olunye uhlangothi lisebenzisa amaqhinga e-filibuster, mancane amathuba okuthi ukholwe ukuntula kwabo ukuguquguquka. Ngemva kokuqaphela ukuhlasela kusenesikhathi, ngeke ube yisisulu sokwesaba nokungakhululeki, futhi ngemva kokubona iqhinga ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngeke uvumele ukukhohliswa.

Ake sifanekise lokhu ngesibonelo.

UMnumzane noNkk. Albin babesanda kuthengisa indlu yabo—noma bacabanga kanjalo njengoba beqoqa izinto zabo ukuze bangene. Kodwa umthengi, uMnu. Meloni, wafuna ukubambezeleka izinyanga ezine ukuze asayine amaphepha ngoba wayengenakuwadayisa. indlu yakhe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, wenqaba ukukhokhela umndeni wakwa-Albin isinxephezelo ngokubambezeleka. Nabo-ke bathi bazobheka omunye umthengi. “Uyazi,” kuphendula uMnu. Meloni, “ube nenhlanhla yokusebenzisana nami. Kungaba khona abazokumangalela ngokuzama ukudayisela omunye umuzi. Ukuqulwa kwamacala kungase kudonse iminyaka eminingi, futhi sonke lesi sikhathi impahla yakho izoboshelwa ... Kodwa cishe sesingabangane, futhi nginesiqiniseko sokuthi sizokwazi ukugwema zonke lezi zinkinga.

Ngemva kokuvalelisa kuMnumzane Meloni, uMnumzane u-Albin waphefumula futhi wathi kumkakhe, “Sibonga uNkulunkulu ngokuthi ngeke amangale. Ngaphandle kwalokho besizohlala iminyaka lapha. Mhlawumbe umnike kancane? UNkz. Albin waphendula wathi: “Sthandwa, usanda kwethuka kakhulu, futhi awuzange uphawule. Kufanele abekwe icala futhi kufanele sibhekane naye ngendlela efanele.” UMnumzane u-Albin wasabela kumaqhinga kaMnu Meloni njengoba nje uMnu uMeloni ayehlosile, enovalo. Kodwa uNkz. Albin wakwazi ukucindezela imizwa yakhe njengoba ebona umdlalo.

Ngokuvamile, lawa maqhinga aphumelela ngenxa yokungazi kwakho. Ake sithi iklayenti likutshela ukuthi lijabule ngesivumelwano, kodwa umlingani walo ngeke asayine inkontileka ngaphandle koshintsho olukhulu. Ungaqapheli ukuthi usebenzisa umlingani "njengomuntu omubi", ungavuma ngokungenacala izinguquko kwinkontileka. Ngemva kokuwaqonda amaqhinga ohlangothi oluphambene, uzobe uqaphile.

Into enzima kakhulu ukuqaphela amanga. Kufanele useshe ukungafani - phakathi kwamagama abaphikisi kanye nezitatimende noma izenzo zabo zangaphambilini, isimo sobuso, ulimi lomzimba, iphimbo, nokunye. Abaqambimanga bayakwazi ukuqamba amagama, kodwa ukulawula injabulo eshintsha ukunyakazisa kwezwi kunzima kakhulu. Kunzima ngokufanayo ukulawula ukulingana kobuso bakho — isibonelo, ukumamatheka komqambimanga kungaphuma kugwegwile. Nokho, khumbula ukuthi ukukhathazeka kungabangelwa ezinye izimbangela nokuthi uphawu olulodwa akunakuthenjwa. Udinga ukubheka isethi yezimpawu.

Ukubuka amaqhinga ombangi wakho kusho ukunaka, kodwa hhayi ukusola ngokweqile. Ngezinye izikhathi ukuziphatha komuntu kumane kuhunyushwe ngokungeyikho. Esinye sezithombe ezidume kakhulu zezombangazwe emlandweni wakamuva uNdunankulu waseSoviet u-Nikita Khrushchev eshaya ibhuthi yakhe emsamo ngesikhathi ekhuluma e-UN ngo-1960. emsamo, ngaphandle kokungabaza, ungasebenzisa isikhali senuzi. Eminyakeni engamashumi amathathu kamuva, indodana kaKhrushchev uSergei yachaza ukuthi lokhu kwakungekona lokho uyise ayekucabanga. UKhrushchev, owayengakaze abe ngaphandle kweSoviet Union, wezwa ukuthi amazwe aseNtshonalanga ayayithanda impikiswano yezombangazwe eshubile. Ngakho wabonisa izilaleli lokho ayecabanga ukuthi zifuna ukukubona. Ababekhona bashaqeka, futhi uKhrushchev ngokwakhe wamangala kakhulu ngalokhu. Wayezama nje ukubukeka "njengesoka lakhe". Okuye kwafana nokungabikezeli kwabantu baseRussia empeleni kwakuwumphumela wokungaqondi okuvamile phakathi kwabantu bamasiko ahlukahlukene.

Ngakho-ke, kufanele uvule i-radar, kodwa ungagqoki izikhali. Qaphela ngokwengqondo iqhinga elingase libe khona noma ukuhlasela ngokunyonyoba. Ingathathi hlangothi ngolwazi futhi uyibheke njengento engenzeka, hhayi njengeqiniso elingephikiswe. Bheka ubufakazi obengeziwe, ukhumbule ukuthi abaphikisi abanzima abavamile ukukhawulelwa kunoma yiliphi iqhinga elilodwa.


Uma usithandile lesi siqeshana, ungathenga futhi ulande incwadi ngamalitha

Ukuqeqeshwa ngu-Boris Polgeim eSinton

  • Izingxoxo ngaphandle kokunqotshwa

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