Ukukhulelwa: isifiso somntwana sivuka kanjani?

Sivelaphi isifiso somntwana?

Isifiso somntwana sigxilile - ngokwengxenye - ebuntwaneni, ngokulingisa nangokudlala ngonodoli. Ekuqaleni kakhulu, theintombazanyana ihlotshaniswa nonina noma kunalokho ngomsebenzi kamama odlula imfudumalo, ububele nokuzinikela. Cishe eminyakeni emi-3, izinto ziyashintsha. Intombazanyana isondela kuyise, bese ifisa ukuthatha indawo kanina futhi ibe nengane kayise njengaye: yi-Oedipus. Yebo, umfana omncane naye ubhekene nazo zonke lezi zimo zengqondo. Isifiso somntwana sibonakaliswa kancane kuye ngonodoli, izingane, kunangezinjini zokucima umlilo, izindiza… Ufuna ukuba ubaba njengoyise, alingane naye futhi amehlise esihlalweni ngokuyenga unina. Isifiso somntwana bese silala ukuze sivuke kangcono ngesikhathi sokuthomba, lapho intombazane isivundile.. Ngakho-ke, "ushintsho lomzimba luzohambisana nokuvuthwa kwengqondo okuzomletha kancane kancane ekuhlanganeni kothando kanye nesifiso sokubeletha", kuchaza uMyriam Szejer, udokotela wengqondo yezingane, i-psychoanalyst, esibhedlela sokubeletha. Foch Hospital, eSuresnes.

Isifiso somntwana: isifiso esingaqondakali

Kungani kwabanye besifazane isifiso somntwana sivezwa kusenesikhathi, kuyilapho abanye benqaba, becindezela wona kanye umqondo wokuba ngumama iminyaka eminingi, bese benquma ngaphambi nje kokuba kungenzeki? Ungase ucabange ukuthi ukucabangela ukukhulelwa kuyinqubo eqaphelayo necacile eqala ngokumisa ngamabomu ukuvimbela inzalo. Nokho, kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Isifiso somntwana siwumuzwa ongaqondile oxhumene nomlando wawo wonke umuntu, emndenini wesikhathi esidlule, enganeni eyayikhona, esibophweni nomama, kumkhakha womsebenzi. Umuntu angaba nomuzwa wokuthi ufuna umntwana, kodwa akakwenzi ngoba omunye umuzwa uhamba phambili: “Ngiyafuna futhi angifuni ngesikhathi esifanayo”. Umongo kumbhangqwana uyanquma ngoba ukukhetha qala umndeni kuthatha ezimbili. Ukuze umntwana azalwe, “isifiso sowesifazane nesomngane wakhe kumelwe sihlangane kanyekanye futhi lokhu kungqubuzana akubonakali ngaso sonke isikhathi”, kugcizelela uMyriam Szejer. Kuyadingeka futhi ukuthi ezingeni le-physiological yonke into isebenze.

Ungaphambanisi isifiso sokukhulelwa nokufisa ingane

Abanye besifazane, ngezinye izikhathi basebancane kakhulu, babonisa isifiso esingenakuvinjelwa sezingane. Banayo ngifuna ukukhulelwa ngaphandle kokufuna ingane, noma bazifunela ingane, ukuze bavale isikhala. Ukukhulelwa kwengane, lapho kungavezwanga nesifiso somunye, kungaba indlela yokwanelisa isifiso se-narcissistic kuphela. "Laba besifazane bacabanga ukuthi bazoba semthethweni kuphela uma bengomama", kuchaza i-psychoanalyst. ” Isimo senhlalo sidlula esimweni sikamama ngezizathu ezilotshwe emlandweni wawo wonke umuntu. Lokhu ngeke kubavimbele ekubeni omama abahle kakhulu. Izinkinga zokuzala nazo zingaholela ekulangazeleleni ingane. Abesifazane abaningi baphelelwa yithemba lokuthi abakhulelwe njengoba bethola ukwelashwa. Ukuvinjwa kwengqondo okuvame ukumila ebudlelwaneni bomama nendodakazi kungachaza lokhu kwehluleka okuphindaphindiwe. Sifuna ingane ngaphezu kwanoma yini, kodwa okuxakayo ukuthi ingxenye yethu engazi ayifuni, umzimba ube usunqaba ukukhulelwa. Ukuzama ukususa lezi zithiyo zokungazi, umsebenzi we-psychoanalytic uvame ukudingekile.

Yini eyenza isifiso somntwana

Isifiso somntwana siyingxenye yesimo senhlalo. Eminyakeni yabo engamashumi amathathu, abesifazane abaningi bayakhulelwa futhi babangele umdlandla ofanayo kulabo ababazungezile. Kule minyaka ebalulekile, omama abaningi abazoba ngumama sebeyiqale kahle imisebenzi yabo yobungcweti futhi isimo sezezimali sinikeza ithuba lokuphupha ngephrojekthi yokuzalwa. Ngokuhamba kweminyaka, umbuzo wokuba ngumama ucindezela kakhulu futhi iwashi lezinto eziphilayo lenza izwi layo elincane lizwakale lapho sazi ukuthi ukuzala kungcono kakhulu phakathi kweminyaka engu-20 no-35. Isifiso somntwana singashukunyiswa isifiso sokupha. umfowethu noma udadewabo omncane kumntwana wokuqala noma ukwakha umndeni omkhulu.

Nini ukunikeza ingane yokugcina

Isifiso sokuba ngumama sihlobene eduze nomuzwa wemvelo wokuzala. Njenganoma yisiphi isilwane esincelisayo, sihlelelwe ukuba sizale isikhathi eside ngangokunokwenzeka. Ingane izalwa lapho umuzwa wokuzala uhambisana nesifiso somntwana. KuMyriam Szejer, “owesifazane uhlale edinga izingane. Lokhu kuchaza ukuthi kungani uma uthunjana eseqala ukukhula futhi ezwa sengathi uyashibilika, kuqalwa ingane entsha,” kugcizelela yena. Kwenye indawo,” isinqumo sokungabe usabeletha sibonwa njengokulahlwa kwengane elandelayo. Inqwaba yabesifazane abaphoqwe ukuthi bahushule izisu becelwa ngabayeni baphila kubi kakhulu kulesi simo ngoba, ekujuleni kwabo, kukhona okuhlukumezekile kakhulu. Ukunqamuka kokuya esikhathini, okubonisa ukuphela kokuzala, ngezinye izikhathi nakho kubhekana nobuhlungu obukhulu ngoba abesifazane bayaphoqeleka ukuba banikele ngengane unomphela. Balahlekelwa amandla okunquma.

Asikho isifiso somntwana: ngani?

Kuyenzeka kunjalo abanye besifazane abazizwa isifiso somntwana. Lokhu kungase kube ngenxa yamanxeba omkhaya, ukungabikho kokuphila komshado okwanelisayo noma isifiso esicatshangwa ngamabomu. Emphakathini okhazimulisa ukuba ngumama, lokhu kukhetha ngezinye izikhathi kungase kube nzima ukukuthatha ngokwengqondo. Kodwa-ke, ukungabikho kwesifiso somntwana ngeke nakancane kuvimbele owesifazane ukuba aphile ngokugcwele ubufazi bakhe futhi aqale ezinye izindlela ngenkululeko ephelele.

shiya impendulo