Okuqukethwe
Ukuthola umhlaba onesiyezi we-Instagram, i-Like noma i-TikTok, izingane zethu ezineminyaka engu-9- kuya kweyishumi awazi ukuthi yiziphi izinkundla zokuxhumana ezilungiselela ukuzethemba kwazo okungazinzile. Okumnene kunakho konke ukuhlangana nokuphawula okucasulayo. Kodwa ukwesaba kwabazondayo akusona isizathu sokwenqaba ukukhulumisana. Ochwepheshe bezokuxhumana - intatheli uNina Zvereva nomlobi uSvetlana Ikonnikova - encwadini ethi "Star of Social Networks" batshela indlela yokuphendula kahle impendulo engalungile. Ithumela amazwibela.
“Ngakho ukushicilele okuthunyelwe kwakho. Uthumele ividiyo. Manje wonke umuntu uyayibona - nge-avatar yakho, enezithombe-mzwelo (noma ngaphandle kwazo), enezithombe noma izithombe ... Futhi-ke, njalo ngemizuzu emithathu ubheka inkundla yokuxhumana ukuze ubone ukuthi kukhona ukusabela? Uyathanda? Amazwana? Futhi uyabona - yebo, kukhona!
Futhi kuleli qophelo, umsebenzi wakho wokubhuloga ungawa. Ngoba ngisho nomuntu owazi ukwenza amavidiyo apholile futhi abhale okuthunyelwe okumangalisayo ngeke abe i-blogger ephezulu uma engazi ukuthi angaphendula kanjani kahle kumazwana. Futhi kufanele kulunge kanjani?
Yini okufanele uyenze uma imibono ingakuncomi?
beka izaba? Noma uthule? Akekho owazi impendulo efanele. Ngoba ayikho. Futhi kukhona ingxabano enweba imibono eyikhulu. Yini esele? Yamukela umbono womunye umuntu.
Ngesinye isikhathi uVoltaire wathi: “Angivumelani nezwi lakho elilodwa, kodwa ngikulungele ukufela ilungelo lakho lokusho lokho okucabangayo.” Lokhu kuyintando yeningi, ngendlela. Ngakho-ke, uma kumazwana umuntu eveza umbono ongahlanganyeli nawo nhlobo, mtshele ngakho, phikisana naye, unikeze izingxabano zakho. Kodwa ungathukutheli. Unelungelo lokucabanga kanjalo. Uhlukile. Konke okuhlukile.
Futhi uma ebhala izinto ezimbi ngami nabangane bami?
Kodwa lapha sesivele sisebenza ngomgomo ohlukile. Kodwa okokuqala, masiqinisekise ukuthi lokhu kubi ngempela, hhayi omunye umbono. Ngesinye isikhathi kwakukhona i-blogger Dasha. Futhi wake wabhala iposi: “Yeka indlela engikhathele ngayo yilezi zibalo! Nkosi, angisakwazi ukukuthwala. Cha, ngilungele ukuhlanganisa ama-logarithms futhi ngihambe phakathi kwababandlululi. Kodwa kufanele okungenani ngiqonde ukuthi kungani. Ngingumuntu osiza abantu. Angisoze ngadinga ama-cubic equations empilweni yami. Kungani?! Hhayi-ke, kungani ngichitha isikhathi sami esiningi kanye nezinzwa kuzo? Kungani ngingakwazi ukufunda i-oratory, psychology noma umlando ngalesi sikhathi - lokho engikuthakaselayo ngempela? Yini okufanele yenzeke ukuze i-algebra ne-geometry zenziwe ama-electives esikoleni esiphakeme?"
Amazwana amabi avele afika ku-Dasha. Funda ezinhlanu zazo bese uthi: iyiphi kuzo, ngokubona kwakho, ebhalwe ngomqondo ophelele, futhi iziphi eziyinhlamba nje?
- “Yebo, awukwazi ukuthola noma yini ephakeme kune-“ triple ”in algebra, ngakho uthukuthele!”
- “O, kuyabonakala ngokushesha – blonde! Kungcono uthumele izithombe zakho, okungenani zinokuthile ezingakubuka!
- “Ubuwula bo! Ungaphila kanjani ngaphandle kwezibalo?
- “Esinye isisulu sokuhlolwa!”
- “Angivumi neze! Izibalo zithuthukisa ukucabanga okunengqondo, futhi ngaphandle kwakho, umuntu uphila cishe njengesilwane esiphila emanzini nasezweni, ngomzwelo ofanayo.
Kunjalo, inhlamba ingeyokuqala, eyesibili neyesine.
Kuzo, ababhali abaphikisani nombono ovezwe nguDasha, kodwa bahlole izinga lengqondo likaDasha. Futhi bagxeka kakhulu. Nanka amazwi esithathu… Kungani ucabanga ukuthi kusengeke kuthiwe kungenxa yokuthukwa (yize ngifuna ngempela)? Ngoba umbhali walokhu kuphawula akahloli uDasha, kodwa umcabango ovezwe nguye. Yiqiniso, akazi ukuthi angabelana kanjani ngokuphumelelayo nokuhlola kwakhe, kodwa okungenani akabhali ukuthi uDasha uyisiphukuphuku.
Qaphela ukuthi lona umehluko omkhulu. Ukutshela umuntu ukuthi uyisiwula, noma ukusho ukuthi umbono wakhe uyisiphukuphuku. Isiwula siyinhlamba. Umbono oyisiphukuphuku… kuhle, sonke sisho izinto eziwubulima ngezikhathi ezithile. Nakuba kufaneleka kakhulu ukuphendula ngale ndlela: “Lo mbono ubonakala uyisiphukuphuku kimi.” Futhi uchaze ukuthi kungani. Eqinisweni, yilokho kanye umbhali wamazwana wesihlanu azama ukukwenza: wabonisa ukungavumelani nombono (qaphela ukuthi akazange ahlole uDasha nganoma iyiphi indlela) futhi waphikisana nesikhundla sakhe.
Yebo, kungcono kakhulu ukuphikisana nalabo abakwaziyo ukukwenza ngaphandle kokulimaza ubuntu bakho. Mhlawumbe uzolahlekelwa yile ngxabano. Kodwa kuzoba umbango nje, hhayi izinhlamba ezihamba le nale. Kodwa amazwana agcwele intukuthelo noma inhlekisa ngawe nomndeni wakho angasuswa ngokuphephile. Unelungelo lokungaphenduli ikhasi lakho libe udoti. Futhi-ke, msuse ukungcola kwamazwi.
Baphumaphi laba abazondayo?
Igama elithi “umzondi” alidingi kuchazwa, akunjalo? Sithemba ukuthi laba bantu abezanga ekhasini lakho, kodwa zilungiselele: ungahlala uhlangana nomuntu ozondayo enkundleni yokuxhumana nabantu. Yiqiniso, izinkanyezi zithola okuningi kuzo. Uvula noma yisiphi isithombe senkanyezi ku-Instagram futhi ngokuqinisekile uzothola kumazwana into enjengokuthi: "Yebo, iminyaka isivele ibonakala ..." noma "Nkulunkulu, ungayigqoka kanjani ingubo engaka embongolo ekhuluphele kangaka!" Qaphela ukuthi sibhale ngokucophelela - "imbongolo ekhuluphele." Abazondayo abanamahloni ngezinkulumo zabo. Obani laba? Kunezinketho ezimbalwa.
- Abazondayo ngabantu abenza umsebenzi wabo. Isibonelo, inkampani ye-Romashka ikhokhele abantu abazondayo abaqashwe ngokukhethekile ukuthi babhale zonke izinhlobo zezinto ezimbi kumazwana okuthunyelwe kwenkampani i-Vasilek. Futhi babhala ngentshiseko. Ngenxa yalokho, abantu bayayeka ukuthenga ama-cornflowers enkampanini ye-Vasilek futhi baqale ukuthenga i-chamomile enkampanini ye-Romashka. kusho? Impela. Ungalokothi ukwenze lokho.
- Laba ngabantu abazibiza ngezindleko zezinkanyezi. Hhayi-ke, lapho empilweni yangempela, isahluleki esithulile uVasya sizohlangana noMiss World?! Ungalokothi. Kodwa uzofika ekhasini lakhe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana abhale ukuthi: “Hhayi-ke, inkomishi! Kanti lona wayebizwa ngobuhle? Pfft, sinezingulube futhi zinhle nakakhulu! Ukuzethemba kukaVasya kwakhuphuka kakhulu. Kodwa kanjani - waveza "fi" yakhe ebuhleni!
- Laba ngabantu abathanda ukubona abanye behlupheka ngenxa yamazwi abo. Laba bantu ngeke baphawule emibhalweni kaMiss World. Bazoqala ukugcona labo ababaziyo uqobo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana: abafundi besikole sabo, “ozakwabo” esigabeni sezemidlalo, omakhelwane … Bajabulela ukuzwa amandla abo phezu kwemizwa yabanye. Ubhale into embi - futhi uyabona indlela umuntu anamahloni ngayo, aphenduke aphaphatheke, akazi ukuthi athini ekuphenduleni ... Futhi wonke umuntu unethuba lokuhlangana nomuntu ozonda isampula No. 3. Ungavele ususe ukuphawula kwakhe okucasulayo. Futhi ungakwazi, uma uzwa amandla kuwena, ulwe futhi.
Indlela yokulwa nomuntu ozondayo?
Okubaluleke kakhulu lapha akukhona ukuphendula ngendlela ozondayo ayiphakamisa. Yini ayilindele kuwe? Ukucasuka, ukuthukana, izaba. Futhi noma yiziphi izimpendulo zakho ngale ndlela zizosho ukuthi ulandela ozondayo, wamukela imithetho ebekwe yibona. Phuma kule ndiza! Tshela ozondayo ukuthi wenzani, hlekise ngesimo, noma…vumelane naye ngokuphelele.
Ngesinye isikhathi intombazane u-Ira yabhala emazwaneni: "Hhayi-ke, ungene kuphi ngembongolo enkulu kangaka?" “Hhayi-ke, uyangizonda manje, futhi awukhulumi ngendlela eqondile,” kuphendula u-Ira kumhlaziyi. “Asingene kwezamabhizinisi noma ngizosusa ukuphawula kwakho.” Hhayi kabi. Akukho ukuthukana. U-Ira uhlaziye ukuphawula komzondi futhi waxwayisa ukuthi uzokwenzani uma lokhu kwenzeka futhi.
Futhi ezinyangeni ezimbalwa kamuva, emazwaneni athi: “Yebo, ungumuntu ophansi!” - wabhala: "Yebo, yonke into, yonke into, ngiyinqobile intombazane! Ngehlulekile! - bese ubeka izithonjana. U-Ira akazange acabange ngisho nokungena engxabanweni. Wancokola edlula futhi ngalokho wawisa phansi ngaphansi kwezinyawo zomzondi. Futhi okwesithathu, kulowo ozondayo ofanayo (insizwa yabonakala inenkani), yabhalela ukuphawula okucasulayo mayelana nokuhlakanipha kwakhe: "Yebo, kunjalo. Ngiqonde ngqo ephuzwini. ”
“Yebo, anikwazi nokuxabana!” – umazonda uphendule ngentukuthelo futhi akabange esashiya noma yikuphi ukuphawula ekhasini lika-Ira. Uzithandele nje izithombe zakhe. Ngendlela, indaba yaba nokuqhubeka. Ngesinye isikhathi u-Ira waqala ukudonsa omunye umuntu. (U-Ira uyintombazane ehlakaniphile, ngakho ibhulogi yakhe yasheshe yathandwa. Futhi lapho kukhona ukuthandwa, kukhona abazondayo.)
Ngakho-ke, lowo ozondayo wokuqala wafika ekuvikeleni intombazane ngesifuba sakhe. Walwa nakho konke ukuhlasela kwe-alien troll. U-Ira wafunda konke lokhu futhi wamamatheka.
UNina Zvereva noSvetlana Ikonnikova bakhuluma ngeminye imithetho yokuxhumana ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, mayelana nobuciko bokuxoxa izindaba ezithakazelisayo esidlangalaleni nokuthola abantu abanomqondo ofanayo encwadini ethi "Star of Social Networks. Ungaba kanjani i-blogger epholile ”(Clever-Media-Group, 2020).